


In Between Molecules of Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide

by RushReylo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Drama, Canon Compliant, Dark Side Rey, Drama, Enemies, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Force Ghost(s), Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, M/M, POV Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Past die? Past Lives, Rey Needs A Hug, Skywalker Family Drama, Skywalker Family Feels, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), emotionally constipated space wizards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:28:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22858552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RushReylo/pseuds/RushReylo
Summary: After Crait, Rey and Kylo go their separate ways. He is now the Supreme Leader, and she the Resistance's Jedi. The Force bond keeps them connected, and as they each evolve within their roles, so does their relationship. They both fight for their beliefs, but for how long will they both resist the calls to the dark and light?He leaned over but didn’t look at her, his gaze towards the moons he couldn’t see.“It must be a clear night” he muses. His arm was touching her shoulder now and he moved his hand closer, so her fingertips now brushed the inside of his wrist.“How can you tell?” She clears her throat and tries to focus on the night sky and the lunar bodies above, avoiding looking directly at him.“The moon is so bright I can see your freckles”Before she could respond Ben intertwines his fingers with hers, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.She squeezes back.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 72
Kudos: 146
Collections: Reylo Prompt Fills (@reylo_prompts)





	1. But This is How We Feel

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfic, so thank you for reading! 
> 
> I found inspiration from the Reylo Curious Cat Prompt: “Rey got hurt at one of the resistances' operations. It was just a stupid accident and now she is lying in bed, waiting to heal and is very, very bored. Her friends try to cheer her up, but can't be there all the time. Good thing she has a bondsmate to annoy!” 
> 
> This takes place shortly after The Last Jedi, as if TROS never happened. 
> 
> Its got a SMALL love triangle (Rey/Poe- but it’s light) but seriously this is a Reylo piece, and helps to show Rey who the one is for her. Sometimes you have to date the wrong person to figure out who the right one is. If it’s not what you’re into I don’t recommend you proceed- but I'll drop a spoiler Rey and Poe breakup LOL. This also doesn't make him a bad ex or bad guy, just a guy a she's dated for a bit. 
> 
> The title comes from the lyrics of Weezer's "Only in Dreams" song, its a great tune and will be referenced in this story as well, you'll see it when it happens.
> 
> Speaking of which, this fic is heavily influenced by Weezer's eponymous album (aka Blue album) and coincidentally it is their debut record as well. I listened to it religiously while developing this piece, so you will find lyrics and chapter titles from lyrics of all the songs from this album as their album of 90's angst seems to fit the bill.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

The sunlight poured through the emerald green trees and leafy fauna of the jungle, allowing the creatures to see everything about them. The ground was still moist from the morning’s downpour leaving the air humid, sticky, and warm. As the oversized leaves and beautiful blue blossoms of the Asuka tree shield the maze of bushes and animals from the heat, the echoes of the hooting cry of the Atele birds dominates the jungle. It's joined by the hissing sound of bladder bugs, providing the bassline of the song by this vast wilderness.

The serenade of the hot summer is interrupted by the crashing sound of a man carrying a woman bridal style through the forest. The wildlife doesn't understand what he is yelling, but they silence their lullaby to eavesdrop in the moment. 

“Stay with me Rey! Stay with me” he screams as he runs, diving over bushes and running around trees bounding through the terrain trying to get to their ship. He splashes through a huge puddle, but it doesn’t slow him, only soaking his legs from the knees down as he careens through the massive forest.

Rey fades in and out of consciousness, and she feels as if she is floating in the lush jungle, unaware of the severity of her injuries.

In a daze, Rey looks up and sees his serious face looking at her with fear and urgency.

Her hand softly strokes his jawline, smearing blood on his face and dreamily asks, “Ben?” Rey’s arm drops as quickly as she raised it and her head falls into his shoulder, her strength waning.

Poe looks at her quizzically but doesn’t slow down his pace.

“REY! Stay with me, I can't lose you!”

As he is running, he suddenly recognizes his whereabouts, takes a sharp left and finds the Falcon resting in the huge grassland where they landed earlier that day. Chewy is standing at the top of the ramp of the falcon howling at Poe “What happened?”

Poe doesn’t respond, brings her into the lounge room putting her body on the table in a serious panic. His arms, as well as his entire shirt, vest, and pants are covered in blood, but none of it is his. She was frail in his arms, barely moving and pale. Her eyes flickered around the room unable to focus on anything.

He turns to Chewy “she’s lost so much blood, she’s delusional.”

Chewy nodded in agreement, rummaging through all the supplies, looking for any bacta on the ship.

BB-8 rolls around the floor, reporting in binary that he doesn’t know of any bacta on the ship, and that she looks extremely weak as he scans her body. He logs all her injuries for reference when they land and Poe’s eyes widen as BB-8 lists off every issue. After his dismal prognosis, the droid realizes that this is the first time he has seen Poe afraid.

“We need to get her on base, find bacta, I’m getting us out of here” Poe says urgently, dashing to the cockpit.

Chewbacca diligently works on trying to save Rey, but her injuries are so severe and there is not enough bacta to do much, if anything. He howls at Rey to “stay here, be present, and don’t be one with the force” followed by “It's not your time, you’re too young, you’re a child”.

Chewy is not alone in his panic. 

Ben has been hovering nearby, watching Chewy frantically try to save her. While the wookie is not looking, he takes her hand and says through their mental link “I’m here. You're not alone.” She doesn’t reply and he feels her force signature dimming by the moment. 

He squeezes her hand. This time, she doesn't squeeze back. Rey’s eyes were half open, her mouth slightly agape, barely breathing, and now her light nowhere to be found. 

BB-8 notices that even though she was clearly unconscious and barely alive, her hand moved outward and clutched something. He rolls up wondering what is going on chittering in binary but no one of course, is listening.

Chewy unintentionally separates their hands and gently crosses her arms over her eviscerated torso. Ben’s eyes flash red and he hurls a litany of profanity in Huttese at him, even though he knows he cannot be heard. 

The Falcon lurches into hyperspace.

Her pulse was too weak, she had lost too much blood, and they were out of bacta. Chewy knew her time had come. He went to the cockpit to get Poe as he felt he should be with her in the final moments.

As the wookie strode out wailing for the pilot, Ben immediately placed his hand over her and got to work on repairing her wounds, gently stroking her forehead with his other hand, falling deep in meditation. He knew there wasn’t much time.

He sensed all her injuries as he put his hand on her body. He could see her broken limbs, but he knew he needed to focus on the most critical parts first. He delicately grabbed her head and his heart nearly stopped as he realized the severe damage to her crown. The back of her skull was all but cracked open, her buns soaked in her blood. For a very brief moment, he panicked, worrying he wouldn’t be able to do this, but he stopped himself. Force healing, a light sider technique required peace - not fear. He leans close to her face, and whispers something inaudible in her ear and then he gets to work.

He concentrated the way she taught him, channeling his previous Jedi training, he used the force to transfer his life energy to her injury. He knew the most important skill for this was patience, something he didn’t really have, but suddenly found within himself. He calmly took focused breaths, fixated on repairing the damage. He opened his eyes, saw that her skull was fully repaired and felt relief, but he knew his job was nowhere near over.

As his hand moved down, he felt how badly damaged her torso was. Through the force he sensed all the damaged organs, internal bleeding, and broken bones in her chest. He focused his breathing calmed himself with thoughts of her alive and yelling at him about something ridiculous, refraining himself from conceptualizing the seriousness of her injuries. As he was healing her he felt his life force weakening. He didn’t mind, but kept the worrying thoughts of what energy he had wasn’t enough at bay, knowing that peace was the key to saving her life. Ben finished repairing all the internal injuries, and as he delicately went to her arm, Poe and Chewbacca stormed into the room and for the first time in a long time, the force chose to sever the bond.

**3 Weeks Later**

Rey’s eyes sluggishly open. She looks around the room, confused with her surroundings as she isn’t in her own quarters, isn’t in her bed, and isn’t wearing her clothing. Her hair isn’t in her signature buns but gathered in a high top knot, away from her face. 

She looks at herself and realizes though not damaged, her left arm is in a soft sling, and even though it's under the covers, she clearly sees her right leg is in a soft medical boot. She feels her body with her good hand checking for scars and damage, but not finding anything serious.

The MFD-19 medic droid she had previously repaired is standing in the corner of the room monitoring her vitals. It recognizes she is awake but doesn’t say anything as it’s documenting and recording the data for the records. Though she doesn’t feel any residual pain, the fatigue and exhaustion is almost as overwhelming as her confusion.

She hears a noise and is suddenly aware that Rose is sitting in a chair next to her immersed in a holo show.

Rey tries to speak, but her words are flimsy and she struggles to carry her voice.“Rose, what happened? Where am I?” Her voice was coarse and almost raspy.

“Oh Rey!” She jumps up, stuffs her holo in her pocket and gently hugs her. “Thank the stars you woke up, we didn't know what was going to happen.”

Rey looks at her confused, giving her friend a tight one armed hug. 

“Rose, what actually happened?” 

Her memory is completely foggy having no recollection of the past or what had gotten here in the Resistance clinic. 

The door to her room was halfway open, and next to Rose were two more visitor chairs. The walls are a very sterile white, with a window behind them showcasing the main sick bay area which usually handles large volumes of battle injuries. She becomes aware she is in a private intensive care room, and she is even more perplexed.

“You and Poe were on a mission on some far off planet. While you were there you got caught in a stampede and you almost died. You need time to heal but you’re going to be fine”

“I'm going to be fine?” She repeated. 

Rose grabbed her good hand, and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Your leg broke in 3 different places. Your lung was punctured, you had 5 broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, your left arm broke in 2 places, a cracked clavicle, and a dislocated sternum.” 

She paused, took a breath, and continued.

“Besides all that you also suffered massive internal bleeding and you had a major head injury as well. The doctors here said there was a chance you wouldn’t wake up. It's a miracle you’re alive.” Rose rambles on nervously looking down at the tissue she yanked out of her vest pocket moments earlier. 

“They didn’t have bacta in the Falcon. Chewy didn’t think you had a chance. He put you in a comfortable position, and the way he placed your hands you managed to force heal yourself enough to make it back. You basically saved yourself” she awkwardly laughs through tears. 

“How long before I can get back on my feet?” she asks trying to prop herself up in the hospital bed. 

Rose stands up and leaned her back down onto the pillow “No, honey, you need time. At least a month, even if you force heal which you shouldn’t. You could delay rehabilitating yourself” 

“If I can do it unconscious, dying, and bleeding out in the Falcon, I should be able to do it here in sick bay”

“Rey, just relax. I'm just happy you're alive. Can you not push yourself for just like, a day maybe? You literally almost died, this isn't like the time you fell out of a tree” 

Rey glares at her but stops resisting “What are the updates with the war and the Resistance? How’s Finn, Poe and General Organa?”

“The General, Finn, and the Resistance are fine. We’ve just been doing research for our next mission, it is going to be a big one.”

“Poe?” Rey repeats nervously. “Where is he? Is he here? Is he alive?” She starts to panic slightly and the machines attached to her body start reacting. She peers out the window but sees no one else in the sick bay. 

“Poe is alright, he wasn’t injured, but he hasn’t been the same since you almost- since you got back. He blames himself for what happened. Do you remember anything? He doesn’t want to talk about it and the General isn’t saying anything about what you were doing either. All we know is you two were on assignment and that’s when everything went wrong.”

Ray sits back, takes a deep breath and says nothing. She doesn’t remember anything about that day, what happened, where they were, or what their assignment was. Her mind was drawing a blank.

Rose sees her friend’s worry and realizes where her mind is. She puts her hand on Rey’s shoulder consoling her, “Look don't stress yourself. I know you're worried about everything but it will come back to you. It’s a common side effect with bacta and brain trauma, in a day or two you should remember everything that happened.”

She tries to sit up but even this little bit of work makes her feel exhausted.

Rose again gently moves her back to the pillow. 

“You were in a bacta tank for 2 weeks, you’ve been in this bed for the past six days, and you’re still not fully healed. Please, Rey, you need time, you need to rest”

“We don’t have time” she shoots back frustrated at her situation. For the first time since she could remember, she felt helpless.

“Just sit tight for a bit, okay? I’m going to let everyone know you’re awake. I’ll be right back. Are you hungry? I’ll go to the commissary and get you your favorite cookies!”

Before she can argue, Rose gets out of her chair, touches Rey's face and smiles. Rey suddenly realizes the power of their friendship and how much she is loved, and she relaxes just a little. She watches Rose exit the private room, and she starts trying to figure out a way to get out of this clinic.

Her second visitor arrives shortly after.

He towers over her and her hospital bed, looking down at her injuries. 

“I’m relieved you’re conscious” Kylo Ren reflects.

She sees him and she knows the last time they spoke ended in a major argument. She was still mad at him, even though she doesn't specifically remember why.

Rey scoffs and rolls her eyes at him.

He continues, “I wonder if the infirmary you’re at is helping you heal or making it worse. Whatever backwater clinic they have you in is most certainly - dilapidated.” he accidentally grazes her ankle with his gloved fingers, but she doesn’t move her foot. 

The med droid cannot see him, but notices her vitals changing again. He asks her if everything is alright, but Rey doesn’t answer it’s question.

“Go away.” she mutters, trying to cross her arms in front of her chest in defiance. The droid nods its head and walks out of the room, not realizing she was talking to someone else.

She attempts to sever the bond but cannot, truly realizing how weak she still is.

He shakes his head no, and murmurs “I felt you slipping away.”

He’s not looking at her when he says this.

“Why do you care Supreme Leade-”

“ ** _AKIVA_ ** , during peak mating season for Rihibibons, and you chose to picnic on a _prairie_ in front of a Jedi Temple. What did you think was going to happen?!” 

She sits silently in shock and blinks in surprise. The volume was extreme and it jarred her that he knew more about what happened than she did.

“If you would have taken my hand, this never would have happened. I would never put you in that kind of danger.” he scolds her, shaking his head. 

Through their bond Rey feels a small ripple of his emotions- frustration, relief, anger, fear, and was jealousy?

Tears well up in her eyes. “Please just leave me be” as she gestures toward her broken body. She was too weak to verbally spar, too weak to kick away his hand that was now fully gripping her ankle, and worst of all too weak to end the bond so she could be in peace.

Kylo is suddenly feeling waves of her extreme distress, sadness, and confusion. She is so weak that she is unable to hide her emotions from him. He realizes he is adding to her trauma and his lecture about her safety is going horribly wrong.

His silent apology overwhelms her, and when she looks up, he’s gone. 

+++

Everyone visits the next morning, the General, Finn, Maz, and Chewy bring her flowers, her favorite candies and cookies that she promptly eats. After all her friends leave, the only form of entertainment was her holo that Rose brought from her room. There wasn’t much on, but she scanned for any information she had missed during the time she had been in the coma. The features on the First Order and the Resistance dominated TPZ - Thirty Parsec Zone, a news and gossip channel with all the latest information on just about every hot topic in the galaxy. After the news started to cycle and repeat itself Ray turned it off and decided to get some rest, falling into a very deep but restless sleep. 

She is back in the desert, back on the sandy dunes of Jakku but something was off. She was heading towards the Niima Outpost, she could hear the sounds of the bazaar and the arriving and departing ships, but each time she tried to go over the drift she was not quite there. It seemed it would be the next dune, and the next, and the next, she could hear it but it was just out of her reach.

She wasn’t alone in this dream, either. A force ghost was next to her as she walked, but she ignored him. He was this old small green alien with a staff. He was a species she had never seen before. Each time she got to the peak of the dune to reach the settlement, he would laugh at her hysterically when she would discover it wasn’t in her reach. After several failed attempts and dealing with his annoying giggles her frustration grew. She ignores him but reaches her breaking point once the spirit started laughing so hard he even started to stomp his feet. 

She stopped, turned and looked at him and sternly said “Are you going to help me, or keep laughing?”

“Keep laughing, I will” he retorts, giggling some more. She balls her hands into fists and gives a frustrated howl to the barren world. After her scream is over, he looks at her and says,

“Your journey like this will be, until your heart closed, no longer is”

Rey turns her head to the side, trying to understand this odd being’s riddle, and slowly repeats out loud. She is about to ask what he means but - 

Her eyes fly open, she is awake from a soft knock at the door.

Rey smiles, sits up and smooths her topknot. She stretches and yawns, giving her guest a wave over and then she sits more upright in the bed. 

Poe Dameron sits down and softly says “Welcome back Madame Jedi” he squeezes her hand gently. “I thought I was going to lose you”. His soft eyes look at her and he puts down a large bouquet of flowers in the chair next to him.

She is still too weak to do much of anything but she is strong enough to grab her boyfriend by his jacket and pull him in for a long awaited kiss. He smiles gently, lingering his lips on her soft mouth.

She doesn’t remember what happened on that day, but she certainly recalls the months since Crait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rihibibons is an animal I made up, no need to google it.
> 
> Dislocated Sternum you say? ;)


	2. To a Strange and Distant Land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In case its confusing, the story builds as if its been 3 months since Crait, but please note its still 6 months before chapter one begins.
> 
> The title comes from the lyrics from "Holiday" by Weezer. If you want you can listen to the song, its linked right [HERE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-xD_wSSJ8U)
> 
> Shout out to my beta [Theheartoftheshadowcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theheartoftheshadowcat/pseuds/theheartoftheshadowcat), who keeps me in line

**6 months ago:**

It had been 3 months since they had lost most of the Resistance, Master Skywalker, and finally settled into this uncharted planet in Wild Space. 

Staying off all major hyperspace lanes their journey was longer but as the Falcon touched ground she realized it was worth the wait. As they landed she saw that it was an almost forgotten but rather sizable base from the Alliance. They were pleasantly surprised to find out it was fully stocked with ships in the hangar, a huge supply of weapons, full blown barracks, and a massive commissary. The previous general was definitely a hoarder, as there was a large supply of food rations that are still well within the expiration date. No one liked it much, but it was similar - if not better than the rations Rey would get on Jakku.

The surviving members teamed up and sorted into groups to get the base back online and get the Resistance fully functional. Poe and the members of his squadron repaired the variety of ships in the hangar, excited for the challenge. The technology needed minor updates but finding this treasure trove of shuttles, starships, and x-wing fighters was a big morale boost for the group.

Finn helped the General organize and oversee the development of the station, taking care of tough tasks, while Rose ran the mechanics group, assembling and updating radar, holos, and all other technology encrypted, secured, and running. 

Even though she had other duties on base, Rey and Chewy handled the new recruits. Chewy recommended the planet Melida/Daan as a meet location since the base was located in a system near the apex of the Outer Rim and Wild Space. Rey wouldn't abuse the force but utilize it to ensure there were no spies trying to join. Twice a month they would pick up recruits, and every time the numbers were steadily growing in such a way that they now needed to take two ships and a couple days to clear everyone. 

When not picking up new people, Rey enthusiastically worked on repairing the droids on base. Nothing brought her more joy than getting droids back online, bringing them back to life, and chatting with them in binary as she resurrected them from the dead. Besides their interesting personalities, they always had a wealth of information. The first droid she activated she promptly took to Leia as it had schematics for (unknown) underground bunkers, a power grid, and how exciting, HOT running water. 

Leia’s eyes glimmered, “Coincidence that of all the droids on this planet, this is the one you decide to work on first”.

Rey nods in agreement, giving a knowing smile. The droid looked severely damaged from time. It was missing an arm, and its legs were rotting away. It looked like something a non scavenger would toss out into the garbage. The moment she saw it, her fingers itched to start the overhaul process and restoration procedure. 

She scoured the area for replacement parts and just like in Jakku, followed her instincts, and came to a building that was begging to be opened. She had used the force to unlock the door, discovering a division with all the tools and parts she needed to fix any droid on base. As she further explored she realized this was clearly the parts and repair department, and thanked her kindred spirit as she commandeered their abandoned tools. 

Luckily, there was little to no roof damage to the building even after all these years. Since everything was locked up and boarded securely, it unintentionally became a time capsule when the Rebellion fighters went home after the war. Propaganda posters, several sabaac card decks, and oddly enough musical instruments were among the many items stored in this building. It seemed that the previous group would have practice sessions in this area.

She now had her own garage and quiet space away from everyone, and work to tackle to keep her occupied between her Jedi training and missions for the Resistance. 

Though it took a little time and a lot of energy, their new base was up and fully functional within weeks, kindling the Resistance cause throughout the galaxy.

++++

Since the base was rather large, and the Resistance’s numbers weren’t what they were, anyone who wanted the privacy of Captains quarters were able to get it. It was a pleasant respite from the close accommodations of flying in space. This base was able to hold over two thousand beings, and the size itself allowed major areas and equipment not being used.

Rey thought it odd that even with the opportunity to have your own area, a majority of the fighters still chose to share rooms and bunk with each other. The community and brotherhood was never stronger. Others, like Rose and Finn got their own cabin to share as well.

Rey picked a barrack close to her workshop. It was a little farther out and completely private as no one chose to join her, but she enjoyed the fact that she got her space and no one was around. When she would go out scavenging she would go days and sometimes weeks without talking to anyone except the droids, and in a way the silence of seclusion was more soothing than loud living quarters with large groups of people in proximity. One thing she recognized, whether she was with her friends or on her own, her loneliness never fully subsided. She would rather have the comfort of peace versus the company of strangers. 

Her barrack had 6 regular rooms with 4 bunks to each room, a recreation hall, small kitchen, a group fresher, and plenty of blankets and pillows. She brought in a cleaning droid that took care of the housekeeping, and she personally spent an afternoon repairing the heat and conditioning system in the building. The weather was lovely when they landed but she had no idea if the planet was going to transition into a summer or winter in the coming months.

Her Captains quarters were 3 times the size of the other rooms, and it had her own private fresher as well. She raided her recreation area, taking the couch, side, and caf tables, easily floating them into her private room creating a personal living space. 

Her room is a rectangular shape, with the fresher in the far back corner. Her couch is against the wall by the door, and the side tables sandwich the sofa nicely. The coffee table is empty, except for the very old Dejarik board.

Besides these amenities, she also had a small bookshelf (now loaded with her Jedi texts), and a desk with a toolbox for work she would bring in when she felt like tinkering into the night.

Unlike the bunks, her bed is a double giving her ample room to roll about in at night. It's the first bed she has ever really slept in, and her first real bedroom. When her private quarters were finished she smiled, as this almost felt like home.

++++

Rey is hovering above her cot in her private quarters in deep meditation, focused on her breathing techniques and feeling the energy around her through the force. 

“ _Be with me_ ” she put out into the force, calling her Jedi brothers and sisters, as always, they never would respond.

Though she couldn’t hear them, she sensed someone approaching her private quarters and she slowly lowered onto her bed, uncrossing her legs in the process, planting her feet on the ground.  
  
She heard a very familiar knock, so she swung the door open, and gave an earnest grin to her dear friend.

Poe clears his throat a bit, gives her a big smile and says “Madam Jedi have you eaten?”

Before she could answer, her stomach rumbles loudly. “Well that's quite embarrassing, isn’t it?” she asks him with a laugh. 

He smiles back at her and asks “Would you care to join me and the rest of the Resistance for dinner?” Leaning against the door frame.

As he asked, she nodded her head up and down and slid on her shoes, she hadn’t eaten much that day and she was thrilled to see Finn and Rose.

As they walked towards the cafeteria she realizes that Poe’s hair is styled a bit more than usual and he smells like aftershave.

Curious, she asks “You going off planet after dinner?” 

Poe turned his head looking at her and raised a puzzled eyebrow in her direction. “Uh no, why would you ask?” 

She points towards his head, “Your hair and you smell like this wealthy cantina owner on Jakku” she responds. 

“Ah, no Rey, I just thought I’d freshen up before inviting you to eat with me.” he plainly says looking ahead.

It was her turn to raise a confused eyebrow. 

They reached the cafeteria and he gestures to the line of people waiting in the queue. With a smile he says “Jedis first” and they get in line to eat with the rest of their colleagues. After Luke’s last stand at Crait, new Resistance fighters were coming in steadily and now the Resistance was almost back to the numbers they originally were at. 

They each grab their own trays, and partitioned plates following down the line of the food buffet. They are the last people who filed in and Rey looks at the prepared food rations hungrily. Sela greets her with a wave as he watches Rey. Rey looks at him with a big grin, and asks for 2 scoops of the brown rations for one section, 2 scoops of the taupe with green fleck veg rations, and 2, no 3 pieces of polystarch. 

Sela shakes his head back and forth as he very generously dumps her requests onto the plate. 

“You are literally, and when I say literally I really do mean literally the only person here who not only requests multiple scoops of this _stuff”,_ he takes a scoop of the brown lifts the spoon about a foot above the baking pan and pours it back down with a face, “You’re also the only one who asks for more than one piece of polystarch. Is this a Jedi thing or a Rey thing?” He accentuates his question by pointing the massive spoon, dripping with food in her direction.

Poe cuts in, “A Rey thing, definitely a Rey thing.” and he then requests for one scoop of each, and one polystarch piece of bread. 

The cafeteria is a series of long and round tables in the center, with a mix of smaller tables on the sides and booths adjacent to the wall. The buzz of the dinner chatter can be heard throughout the mess hall. It's a beautiful evening, and someone has opened the side wall completely exposing the audience to a beautiful red and orange sunset. 

Rose and Finn are seated at one of tables that fits four, and Finn waves Rey and Poe over.

Rose kicks him under the table. 

As they walk up to join them Rose turns her head to the side, overly pouts, and says the seats were saved for Rodden and Connix. 

“Why don’t you two sit at the booth over there?” She motions with her fork at a spot away from the crowd. “It's got a perfect view of the sunset”

Rey plops her tray down and starts to devour her meal before Dameron even takes a seat. Usually they sit across from each other, but today he takes the seat next to her, a little closer than usual.

Her table manners have yet to really improve but she is better now about using cutlery. Poe watches slightly scandalized as she eats every last bite of the awful meal they’re stuck with. 

As she uses the polystarch bread to cleanly wipe her plate, he picks up his fork and asks her about her Jedi obstacle course. She replies in between licking her fingers with  
  


“You’d probably find it boring.”   
  


He pauses, looks at her, and says 

“Not if it’s you telling me.” 

Everything clicks together.

She turns her head to Rose and Finn (who were still sitting alone) and catches them staring at her and Poe. They both immediately stuffed food in their mouths and looked away pretending to have a conversation.

“Pretend we are having a conversation,” says Rose under her breath.

“The Force is going to tell her we’re not actually having one” he responds in a panic.

Rey calls out to them in her most friendly tone, “That's not how the Force works!” humiliating them both.

She grins, gives Poe her sweetest look and says “you planning on eating that polystarch roll?” And snatches it off his tray before he replies. He flashes her a smile and shakes his head. 

++++  
  
Poe and Rey had been dating for about a month, but they had never kissed. He never tried and since she had never kissed anyone she didn’t put it out there either. One afternoon while hiking in the forest she mustered the courage and asked him why he hadn’t.

“Call me a hopeless romantic” He gently grabs her hand and kisses it, “I want the moment to be at the right time and the right place. I want it to be special.” 

“These barracks on this uncharted planet aren’t charming enough for you?” she sarcastically implores. He laughs at her shaking his head no.

She smiles and wraps her arms around him nuzzling his neck. He smells like resistance soap and he has a musky undertone of sweat after a long day's work in the hangar.

As she takes in the moment, she suddenly but briefly feels like they're being watched, but dismissed the awkward energy. She knows someone probably saw as they’re on a base that was now full of people. She doesn’t care, she’s trying to be happy and you can’t do that by being worried about what other people think.

His scent is different than the only other man she’s been close enough to smell, and that, she told herself, was a good thing.

++++

That night Kylo Ren pays her a visit. 

She is reading one of the Jedi texts in her bed, struggling with the translations, her notebook full of scribbles and information for threepio to translate later. The old Jedi archive is resting in her lap and she comfortably leans against the pillow and headboard deep in concentration.  
  


“I see you’re perusing the original Jedi texts”   
  


“You must be so upset. A lowly scavenger who comes from nothing, who is nothing, reading ancient texts before you.” she retorts.

“Before me?” He scoffs, “I studied them when I was 11 at the temple”

Her jaw drops. She could barely translate it into Galactic Basic and struggled with some of the concepts even when she was able to decipher the words.

“Those books are the foundation of the Jedi teachings” he continued, “What student wouldn’t want to read them? The only Jedi who didn’t conceptualize their value was my uncle- and I think we both can agree, it showed.” 

She now stood on the bed and for once towered over him, if not a few inches. She lifts the book over her head preparing to throw it in his direction, with her teeth slightly bared. 

He cocked his head to the side with his hands folded behind him.

“So who were you hugging earlier? It seems he isn’t here right now” 

She chucks it as his face with a grunt. 

He disappears with what you could almost call a smirk on his face. 

+++++++

The First Order Supreme Council looked very occupied in their tactical meeting with Kylo Ren in their flagship Resurgent-class star destroyer, the Steadfast. The war room was buzzing with data and constant streams of information. Holos of the major planetary systems throughout the galaxy are on one wall, with spooling information and endless loops of pictures and data of the Resistance and their leadership on the other. The council is seated in a rectangular table, facing Kylo Ren. Behind him, a vast view of space as they orbited a beautiful blue and green planet. 

“I assume everything is in order,” the Supreme Leader states in his analog hiss. He is standing with his arms spread on the table reviewing the holo at the center of it as the images and data scroll down.

“Yes, Supreme Leader, the installation of the mainframe for the latest military installation in Chandrila is fully prepped.” Hux droned on, “It should be as it has been so far, a seamless operation.”

General Bellava Parnadee raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you worried about the Resistance? Their use of propaganda and recruitment has gone through the roof the past 3 months! Ever since Crait-”

“You question my experience?” Hux spits at her.

“It sounds like she is, and I commend her for it,'' retorts Kylo Ren, “Double the Storm Trooper contingency, and add five Tie Squadrons for full protection”

“UNNECESSARY. This is MY project, I developed the Starkiller Program and that has been the most successful endeavor of ours as of yet. I certainly can do an easy payload on Chandrila! It's a First Order complaint planet.” 

“Yes, but the base will be vulnerable with their shields being down with the delivery, and the base isn’t fully functional.” She chided. Though Kylo Ren didn’t have friends, Bellava despised Hux almost as much as he did. She had on more than one occasion called him “Hugs” during their high command meetings, behind his back and to his face.

“I made sure that this planet understands the power the First Order wields when I laid waste to their second largest port city two standard months ago. There’s been no sign of the resistance or any allies in that region and as long as I’m there it will stay that way. Showing a massive amount of troops and ships shows our weakness, that we need to defend ourselves. It only further proves our lack of fear of the Resistance. If we have a huge presence we will look like we are afraid of what they can do. We need to come from a position of strength”

Even though he easily overrides any decisions Hux makes, Emperor Ren pauses for a moment, gives a nod and replies, “Its your neck if anything goes wrong” 

Hux shivers slightly, knowing the truth in those words.

++++

It had been a long time since Kylo Ren had the wind knocked out of him.

When the force bond connected he saw the happiness in her eyes. The sunlight on her face. Her 3 buns weren’t messy as they sometimes were after a long day. It was clear she had preened herself for a date that the force it seems, wanted him to see. Her power is always emanating from her but her light is brighter still at this moment. She radiated joy and not only could he see it he could feel it through the bond.

He looked away as her arms wrapped around him and severed the bond before she could see him there.

When the bond reconnected them later that evening, he couldn’t help but make her squirm about her date. 

The Force didn’t connect them for a period of time after Crait. He could still sense her signature in the Force so he knew she was alive, out there somewhere, but their bond stopped. Several weeks later, it blossomed again as if it never left, connecting them at times in the most inopportune moments.

Sometimes it would bring them together more than once a day, but other times it would leave them for a couple of weeks. He started documenting each moment to discern a pattern when the bond would happen but he couldn’t find one. Time of day, his moods, his diet, and he even tried to see if it had something to do with how often he stayed in or traveled through space. It didn’t. He kept a log hoping to find a pattern but nothing had popped up. Even the amount of time. When the force bond first started happening, it was quick and brief, but now as both of their powers subsequently grew, they had to sever it or it seemed it would go on forever. 

He attempted to ask her to conduct her own experiments and take written notes several times. He asked her if she noticed any discernible patterns in their connection, but every time he would broach the subject, she would swear at him, and twice she actually swung her staff at him. As passionate as she was about the force, she didn’t seem too keen on the science aspect of it. She just assumed he was trying to figure out her location, which wasn’t entirely incorrect, but how could he discover where she is if she told him how often and when she would eat? He didn’t even bother asking her about her menstrual cycle, she would murder him for sure. 

Still, this was his biggest wonder- why are they connected? Snoke could not have melded their minds together as it would have stopped when he killed him. Out of everything, that was definite. He remembered that one of the Jedi texts in her possession discussed force bonds and she either hadn’t gotten to that text yet, or she wasn’t sharing. He wishes he could reread them as he would be able to truly conceptualize them now versus reading them as a young boy. Methods and history he was too young to understand would now be useful tools as he now can bend the Force to his will. 

He never would have even considered these ideas had he not killed Snoke, and if it were to have crossed his mind during that period he most certainly would have punished him for his curiosity. He came to realize certain activities were easier with the light, others with the dark side. 

By this point they both are now able to end the bond at will, even if the other doesn’t want to. He had tried many times to keep it going when she would end it. He also wanted to see if either one would have more power in that respect. So far it seems whoever wants to terminate is able to, with or without the others permission. 

He was trying to initiate the bond, but it took practice and now he didn’t want to see another intimate moment of hers. Just like all their other force bonds, he couldn’t see her surroundings, just that she had her arms wrapped around what was clearly a man’s body. The most painful part - her smile, this was something she had never shared with him.

++++

Kylo had on multiple occasions asked her to start taking notes on their force bond and her response was always the same- profanity. Any insult she could remember from phrases and other languages she heard on Jakku.

But, after he suggested, she did start taking notes. Her galactic basic isn’t the finest but her journal quickly filled with theories that were now all crossed off. He kept asking her about her “eating habits” and “you know, other things”, which was a question so vague it confused her. When she asked him what he specifically meant, he changed the subject.

He would implore her to try but she never revealed that she was. He just assumed that she wasn’t. He even offered to ‘Share the data I have collected’, but she swore at him some more. She knew it had value, but she didn’t trust him enough to open up and share. After awhile he just stopped asking. They couldn’t lie to each other through the bond but deflection is another case.  
  
Admittedly so, she never thought to try to find out a pattern or a key to their connection and his documentation method was pretty clever. At first, she tried to discover how it worked the way she would with droids or other things, find out what is wrong or what is missing. But nothing added up. When she did think she found something it would be proven wrong the next day or the day after and she was back to square one. The notes helped considerably and she diligently jotted down any new findings or pieces of information. She was now documenting time, the standard date, lunar phases, but there really was no pattern she could pick up. 

She had at one point theorized it connected them when they were thinking of each other at the same time or maybe if he was thinking of her or she him, but on more than one occasion they were both doing odd things in which she felt confident that neither one of them was on the other’s mind.

She did realize that as their powers grew stronger, so did their connection, it went from brief moments or a few sentences exchanged to her now being able to smell his morning caf. It smelled so much better than the sludge they served on base. 

The bond had gotten stronger still, now they could even start seeing objects they were holding.

She also learned she could easily sever the bond, and she did so all the time- in fact every time. She could feel him trying to hold on as long as possible but since he never tried to terminate the bond she knew he had no idea she felt he was trying. It was harder when he tried to keep it from breaking but she never indicated it was a challenge. If he knew, he would definitely work harder at it until one day he would equally match her ability and prevent her from doing so at all, which is the last thing she wanted. 

Her diet, what she wore, the planetary lunar cycles, times, even her mood gave no meaning to why they were being connected. There was one consistent thing she noticed about their force bond, but she didn’t tell him. She convinced herself that it wasn’t a pattern, therefore he didn’t need to know. Deep deep down though, she was afraid if she did tell him, he would capitalize on that knowledge in case he ever wanted to stop the bond and leave her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The mainframe isn't a real deal, but it could be?
> 
> [Map of the Galaxy](https://i0.wp.com/geoawesomeness.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/1280px-Star_Wars_Galaxy_Map_KOTOR_Quest.jpg?resize=1280%2C904&ssl=1)  
> [Melida/Daan](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Melida/Daan)  
> [Ration Pack (EW)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Ration_pack)  
> [Polystarch Bread (No thx)](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Polystarch)  
> [Supreme Council](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Supreme_Council)  
> [Bellava Parnadee](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bellava_Parnadee)  
> [Steadfast](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Steadfast_\(Resurgent-class\))  
> [Chandrila](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Chandrila)


	3. But You Know I'm Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She looks up at him, takes in his whole face now, and sees the hunger in his eyes, and how he licks his lips ever so slightly and she knows what’s coming. 
> 
> She is not going to stop him.
> 
> Chapter Title lyrics from this song: [ Buddy Holly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4)

“Rey - you are more ready than you think” Leia chides. She just watched Rey complete her latest and most challenging obstacle course. Rey nodded her head as she wiped her face off with a towel. 

The course Leia designed was roughly 3 klicks long, with cliffs to jump, attacks from soldier droids, a blaster section (in which Resistance members very hesitantly, but aggressively fired at her), all while BB-8 followed her intentionally distracting her during the attacks and obstacles. This was the third time she completed it and this time it was done with ease. The next one would need to be harder with more challenging hurdles for her to complete. 

The past few months were a clear indication that at this age Rey was stronger than Luke had ever been. Luke was more skilled due to experience and training, but she was still superior in strength. Every time Leia watched her, it reminded her of her son and his power. She knew Rey and her son connected because of this, and how their strong bond to the force caused these deep chasms of solitude and loneliness that she could never understand. 

Her skills to train weren’t anywhere near her brother’s but she did her best to help Rey.

“I want you to start going on more missions, getting out there, and gaining real experience with the Resistance. The next few months are critical as we have secured more friends within the galaxy than we ever could have imagined. My brother’s heroism at Crait did not go unnoticed, now it's time we do something. Our spy went dormant for awhile but not anymore. They have delivered us something that will change the tide on how strong the Resistance is viewed.”

“I am as ready as I can be, I feel his powers growing,” not saying his name to her, always wondering which name to use in her presence. Within the Resistance, they were the only people that knew Kylo Ren’s true identity.

“His power grows because yours grows, don’t you worry, you two are equally matched in the force”

Ray smirked “Who said I was worried?” 

++

The Resistance base has a massive war room. Even though Rose spent 3 days in a bacta tank, she still managed to get the entire division up and running before everyone else had completed their tasks. She was effective with her team, and led with a gentle, but firm iron fist. 

The room was now a hotbed for technology and likely the most secure area in the entire base. She gutted one wall, yanking out the long obsolete holo tech and data storage and brought in updated technology suited for the current war. What surprised everyone was the new equipment that was constantly being donated to the Resistance. Instead of giving them their older equipment, anonymous donors shipped out NEW tech that had never been used, sending out priceless software and hardware that balanced the odds against the First Order.

She retrofitted the entire room creating an expanse of technology and security to rival the First Order. She asked Finn what data that they focused on, their layout, methods, and how they streamlined their information making sure that the Resistance war room rivaled the First Order. 

With one wall streaming constant information on major planetary systems, another wall has a constant stream of the generals and leaders of the First Order, their ships and their last known whereabouts. There was also a huge galactic map which documented the planets that were First Order compliant, allies to the Resistance, allies to the First Order, and any bases or major facilities of theirs that were developed or in development. Allied planets easily relayed information to the Resistance when a First Order ship entered their space even though they risked destruction like the Tah’Nuhna. 

Rose walked around confirming everything was functional for today’s meeting. The major holo projector she built was ready to go as everyone in the Resistance files in and stands along the walls or takes a seat around the holo projector.

Connix starts the meeting by briefing the group on their new propaganda program. 

“I need everyone to provide me with any fantastic videos and clips of the Resistance” she lectures, showing a brief take of an X-wing fighter shooting down a TIE from a past skirmish. 

As she continues, she gestures to the variety of clips that are now almost daily occurrences on the holo channels. “Highlights like these successful missions, engaging with the galaxy, even our own personal moments will keep our names in discussion and perpetuate our need for funding. The more personable and authentic we are, the more people are willing to support our cause. Image is everything in this galaxy, so if you have good content - send it my way.”

Kaydel had gotten the idea since all her younger siblings were obsessed with TPZ and more than half of the base was always on that holo channel. She reached out to Hardlen Haren who owned the channel and he happily agreed to promote the Resistance for free as long as he got the inside scoop first.

It was in fact a huge success, with donors funding various needs for the Resistance while keeping the galaxy in the loop. Their stories ran right with celebrity news and drama updates, as well as First Order propaganda. Shortly after Crait the First Order had annexed every holo news channel- liberal and conservative, and even the neutral HoloNews was now state run. They allowed Hardlen to keep his channel as long as he only showed positive stories about the First Order. 

Once the Resistance started their campaign on the channel, donations of all kinds started pouring in. No one had replied to their call for help on Crait, but the credits started coming in once the publicity started.

Kaydel coughs slightly, and swipes to the next image- a graph. “These ratings were given to us by Hardlen.'' She gestures towards the nearly rock bottom approval ratings. “When Snoke ran the First Order, they were feared, and not liked whatsoever, with only their allies approving their tactics. As far as our research shows, during his tenure all of their storm troopers were kidnapped and stolen to be put into the brainwashing program.” She swipes to the next graphic, showing a still very low but now higher approval rating. “The First Order is feared, but they have been gaining ground, with them pushing to eliminate being and human trafficking and ending slavery.”

“They’ve also developed a well program bringing water to desert planets like Jakku and Arvala-7, slowly bringing up approval ratings, and recently announced they would be doing more social based action to _help_ the galaxy.” She swipes again, “Their ratings only have lowered from the Hutts as they’ve seriously damaged their main source of funding, here is their before and after with the Huttese.” She pauses for a moment. “We all assumed things would get worse under the rule of Kylo Ren, and though he personally tried to obliterate us on Crait, they haven’t been as aggressive against us as they were in the past. Its seems they're focusing on the problems of the galaxy. His PR tactics are working, and though good throughout the galaxy is always welcome, we have to be sure we keep our approval ratings high, when they gain, we lose, and we all need to remember that the First Order doesn’t do anything without some motivation behind it. It is only a matter of time before we find out what they are truly up to.”

She wraps up her discussion, and reminds everyone that fighting the war against the First Order is not only on the battlefield anymore. The meeting room bursts with conversation, with everyone discussing footage to fire off to Connix. Leia slowly stands up and heads to the center of the room. Though she generally hides it very well, it was clear that Leia was frail now, much weaker after her time out in space. Her spunk was strong as ever, but even with bacta, she wasn’t the same physically. 

“Settle down everyone this is a huge drop from our spy. We haven’t heard from them in quite some time.” The room froze, turning to their general with their eyes and ears open.

“I was beginning to grow worried as the information coming in had stopped when Snoke was killed by Rey.” General Leia declares.

The whole room turns and looks at Rey, and she looks down as everyone gives her their awed smiles. She wonders if Lea and Ben have realized they both give out the same lie to their respective generals and admirals.

“It seems that they went dark to avoid suspicion, and they wanted the regime change to get settled. Now that Ren has taken over as Supreme Leader, our mole is going to do their best to get as much information to disassemble the First Order, and help us truly root out this oppressive establishment. Not all was lost on Crait, and all those who perished will not have done so in vain.”

She heads to the screen in the center of the room and throws up a map of Chandrila with a huge data dump scrolling on the side. She pauses the rotating planet, draws in and enhances the footage of a military installation being built. Hundreds of stormtroopers are visible, building and developing the new base. Finn crosses his arms, shaking his head slightly angry and sad at the footage. They were watching a beehive of brainwashed beings.

“We are going to do a lot of damage to the First Order during the next few standard months. With the huge influx of credits from Resistance supporters and the new wave of recruits, there is no stopping us now.” 

She smiles,

“This is where we take action.”

+++++

The night before the attack everyone was gathering by the bonfire. Some might not come home tomorrow, so the Resistance always has a hearty dinner and extra ales for everyone. Though they weren’t partying too hard, their feasting and music helped forget the gravity that was around the corner. 

Poe was celebrating with his squadron and Rose and Finn retired for the night, so Rey decided to wander off to a small peak in the forest to look at the four bright full moons. They’ve been here for four months now, and this is the first time the full moons fell on a cloudless night. 

The base was nestled at the bottom of a valley, protected by rolling hills that lead to a mountain with snow capped peaks. In her quick ascent Rey could hear all the nocturnal forest animals celebrate the crisp evening. The tiny cliff that she scaled to wasn't far from the party, and the forest didn't have any creatures that were dangerous. She breathed deeply as she continued savoring the smells and sounds of nature, reaching out to the force, guiding her towards her destination. She reaches the cliff and the moonlight illuminates the entire area, allowing Rey to look at the valley ahead of her. The full moons were so bright that the stars were nowhere to be seen. 

She takes in the view, leaning to the right, against her quarterstaff. 

The four moons litter the heavens, each with their own different sizes, shapes, and colors. The smallest moon is to the far left located in the middle of the sky. It has a soft beige color, and slightly fuzzy as if out of focus. The second moon, higher than the others, is as always, the brightest by far. It's the second largest, with a bright white surface, reddish brown line formations and swirls, creating intricate patterns on its icy exterior. Lower, towards the horizon, the largest and plainest moon hovers over a mountainside. It's a slate grey, still bright in it’s own right with bright white spots of asteroids leaving their mark. To the far right, almost lining up to the smallest on the other side is third in size. It's half white, and half dark, with the colors mixing where they meet. There are trails of white on the dark side, and splotches of dark on the light. It resonates with her more than anything else on this planet. It is without a doubt, her favorite moon, and the only one she’s named.

As she took in this phenomenal view, Rey accepted the fact that she had no one to share it with. As always, no matter how hard she tried, the feeling of loneliness overcame her. Even though she’s in a budding relationship with Poe, has dear friendships with Finn and Rose, she always felt as if she was an outsider. 

_Even if they were here, I would still feel alone._

The truth of her thoughts dragged her down, her sorrow hummed with the beat of the drums and music in the distance. Somehow, no matter where she is, this echo of loneliness catches up to her.

The force bond connects.

She doesn’t turn to look at him. She simply says, 

“I don’t feel like arguing. It’s too beautiful here for that.” 

He doesn’t reply, but walks up and stands right next to her looking up in the same direction she is, as if he is also in the forest, looking at the same night sky instead of being light years away.

It had been months since they were so close to each other, and she forgot how large his frame is compared to hers. She casually straightens her posture and stands straight next to him dropping her other arm from the staff to her side, pushing her shoulders back confidently, to remind him that she wasn’t weak.

He was so close she could smell him. Her senses were filled with his aftershave and shampoo. He wasn’t wearing his uniform, but a black long sleeve shirt and what looked to be pajama pants. He was barefoot, a first (put that in the notebook), and he wore no gloves. His hair was perfectly dried and styled as if he had just gotten out of the fresher. 

She suddenly felt self conscious as she had a long day of Jedi training, meetings, a bonfire, and the hike up here. Her scent was probably not enticing, not that it mattered but still, he seemed refined in this moment and she felt anything but.

He leaned over but didn’t look at her, his gaze towards the moons he couldn’t see. 

“It must be a clear night” he muses. His arm was touching her shoulder now and he moved his hand closer, so her fingertips now brushed the inside of his wrist. 

“How can you tell?” She clears her throat and tries to focus on the night sky and the lunar bodies above, avoiding looking directly at him. 

“The moon is so bright I can see your freckles”

Before she could respond he intertwined his fingers with hers, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. 

She squeezes back.

“This doesn’t change _anything_ you know” she mumbled.

Ben says nothing but gives a single nod in agreement. 

He mirrors where she is looking, admiring a sky he cannot see. 

“How many moons are up there?” He asks softly. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she snorts.

“There are more than 800 billion planets in our galaxy. Even if I knew the region you’re in, it’s literally impossible for me to deduce where your base is due to lunar satellites” 

He doesn’t look at her when speaking, his head is still facing upward. 

“Four."

“Shooting stars?”

“Not yet”

“Constellations?”

“Nice try” she pauses, “What are you looking at?” she breathes, curiosity getting the better of her, their hands still laced together.

“I’d rather not say.” He says twisting his face slightly.

“That’s unfair,'' she hisses, “I tell you the moons but you won’t tell m-“

“A wall” he silences her. “I'm in my ‘fresher. I just finished shaving, I'm facing a wall.” He moved closer to her still, suddenly worried she would sever the bond, but she didn't. 

“I named one of the moons” she says softly, staring at it longingly.

“Did you?” Ben replies with a small chuckle. 

Rey nods her head “It’s my favorite moon, quite possibly ever, it's so beautiful.”

She doesn’t offer the name.

He doesn’t ask for it either.

Unaware of her own actions, she leans herself against his massive shoulder, staring at the sky. In this moment, the feeling of the constant loneliness she always felt was abolished by his presence. Rey felt whole and complete. She was not only blissfully unaware of her feelings but she also didn’t know she was emitting these emotions into the force, and he was smart enough to not acknowledge what she was unintentionally broadcasting. 

She drops her staff and points to a part of the sky to the far left.

“There! A shooting star, rather large one. The tail is amazing, it's streaked across the sky. I think it's magnesium due to the color”

This meteor cuts across the heavens on the far left, with a light blue, almost green streak appearing briefly.

She looks over at him and realizes he’s not looking where she is pointing, but at her instead. 

“You need to make a wish” he murmurs.

Though she has been this close to him in combat, this time she was able to truly take in his features. She could see every detail of his face, from his moles above his eye to the scar she gifted him. She noticed the bags under his eyes, and of course his soft silken hair camouflaging his large ears.

She took his advice and wished she could run her fingers through his hair, right at that moment. 

While still keeping eye contact, he effortlessly lets go of her hand, puts his arm around her waist, turns her, pulling her closer still, so she was no longer facing the cliff, the moons, the sky, but him. His body is now flush to hers, their legs even intertwined. She looks up at him, takes in his whole face now, and sees the hunger in his eyes, and how he licks his lips ever so slightly and she knows what’s coming. 

She is not going to stop him. 

She closes her eyes, pouts her lips slightly and lifts herself up on the balls of her feet towards his slightly parted, wet mouth.

But nothing comes.

She opens an eye just in time to catch him, leaning down, past her kiss, beyond her jaw, and as he now runs his lips up her neck he says, 

“Mhi solus tome”

At the moment the last letter floats out of his mouth, for the first time she could ever remember, he severs the bond and disappears into thin air, leaving her wanting more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ Klick](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kilometer)  
> [ Tah’Nuhna](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Tah%27Nuhna)  
> [Jakku ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jakku)  
> [Arvala-7](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Arvala-7)  
> [Hutts](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Hutt)  
> [Magnesium Shooting Stat](https://wordpress.accuweather.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/meteor-shower-colors-2.jpg?w=1536)  
> I lacked imagination, so I took moons from our solar system. Click [HERE](https://planetary.s3.amazonaws.com/assets/images/comparisons/20130619_solar-system-major-moons-by-location-withtext.jpg)  
> for an easy chart. 
> 
> Left to right in descriptions, Titan, Europa, Ganymede, and Iapetus. I recommend clicking on the 3d NASA model to to really appreciate her favorite moon, links below :)))  
> [Rey's Moon/Iapetus](https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/moons/saturn-moons/iapetus/in-depth/)  
> [Europa](https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/moons/jupiter-moons/europa/in-depth/#structure_otp)  
> [Ganymede](https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/moons/jupiter-moons/ganymede/in-depth/)  
> [Titan](https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/moons/saturn-moons/titan/in-depth/)


	4. You Remain Turned Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He reaches her, pauses, and his facial expression softens. His one hand gently pulls her in by the waist, and his other hand pulls her face closer to him still. He stops, looks her in the eyes and leans over giving her a quick, but deep passionate kiss. He pulls away briefly, looks at her face up and down and kisses her again. Rey’s one hand is at his shoulder and her other hand grabbing his elbow pulling him tightly towards her, lost in the moment.
> 
> Neither one of them noticed the droid taking footage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title lyrics from this song: [The World Has Turned and Left Me Here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRfu94lOEPo)
> 
> Should out to my awesome Beta [Semp1ternal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&work_search%5Bquery%5D=semp1ternal) you rock my world.

Leia looks over the entire resistance as they travel through hyperspace minutes away from their surprise attack. Their newest Battleship, Agis was anonymously donated and is on its voyage toward Chandrila.

The bridge is a wide open area, with Connix at the comms, Rose near the helm, and Finn standing nearby. The captain and the rest of the crew are looking over data before they arrive. Most of the Resistance is also standing in the room, dressed in their battle regalia.

The hardest part for her is knowing that some of these fine people may not come back. Though their source has been consistent, there is always the chance the information could be no longer relevant, setting them up for failure. She shakes off those ideas, and gestures for everyone to come together for a leap forward in seemingly never ending war. 

“Today, for the first time in months, we attack the First Order”, with a half nod she lifts up the latest image of the military base with the Finalizer slowly moving over it in preparation for the transfer.

“When you see this huge ship, do not be intimidated. It has seen much better days. The Finalizer is no longer considered a battleship due to the heavy damage it incurred at our skirmish on Batuu. Thankfully we crippled its ability to fight, and it’s status has been downgraded since our battle.”

With a wave she switches to the next image. 

“It is now an oversized shuttle, with limited staff to maintain basic operations. It’s main job is transporting major pieces of equipment to developing bases and other First Order military installations.” She pauses for a moment. “Though functional, it's unable to do any kind of battle as its weapons division was severely damaged. The cost to repair was more than the value of the ship itself, so Kylo Ren decommissioned it and transferred its status to non-lethal use. This isn’t the first time it is transferring such a huge asset, but our main objective is to make sure it will be its last.”

Leia turns around and now faces the map. 

“This is an urgent assignment for us, destroying this mainframe and base pushes back the timeline for this base by almost two standard years. As you all know, the mainframe is the spine of any military installation of the First Order. It maintains shields, weaponry, navigations, comms, the R&D labs database, and the processing for the brainwash program. This cannot be dropped into the base. If reinforcements arrive earlier than expected, everyone is to focus on taking down the Finalizer.”

She turns to the Resistance. 

“Our main mission is to shoot down this ship, and completely destroy it. With our two pronged attack, we should easily be able to defeat them before their reinforcements arrive. Chandrila is an occupied territory, but there isn’t any solid support from the First Order. This is a major opportunity to not only attack an unshielded base but also take out the Finalizer. This will be a huge moral victory for us and our supporters.” 

She turns to Finn and nods her head. 

Finn approaches the map and zooms in on footage of storm troopers developing the base. “As far as the recon data is concerned, there are no major weapons, generals, or leaders on this base, just regular soldiers like I used to be. These people have been kidnapped from their planets and brainwashed into this program, they are victims, whether they realize it or not.” 

He zooms in on an anonymous storm trooper who is carrying equipment into the base. 

“Destroying their shipyard is our first priority. This is their only method of attack on this base. If we crush their shipyard they will be forced to evacuate and retreat. The leaders here will see no other choice. The data dump had rough numbers somewhere around three but no more than five thousand stormtroopers on base. The First Order has evacuation and retreat drills that call for occasions like this. Per my calculations, in less than 10 minutes this base should be completely empty. Soldiers are only to engage with ground troops. They are more _valuable_ alive instead of dead.” 

He sighs and bounces the image out back to the base.

“Even though it sounds ridiculous, if we kill these soldiers it only means more will be kidnapped into the First Order. They talk about ending slavery and trafficking, but the brainwashing program is still in full effect. We need to make sure a majority of them are evacuated, and then we destroy the rest of the base.”

Finn puts his hand on Leia’s shoulder for a moment, and walks away, again giving her the audience. 

“Poe Dameron is leading the Black Squadron and will be on the attack point for the Finalizer, and General Kare Kun will be leading the attack with the Stiletto Squadron on the base itself. With this strategy we divide and conquer.”

She pauses for a moment. “This battle is dedicated to Paige, Tallie, Nodin, Zizi, Luke, Amidala, and countless others who died for us to be here. They gave their everything so we could fight one more day, one more time, to get one step closer to destroying the First Order. Today we honor them by executing this attack and reminding everyone we will never be silenced.” she breathes, “This strike will change the narrative of how this war is going.”

General Organa looks over everyone in the room and calmly says “May the force be with you.”

++

Rey was taking in General Organa’s speech as this was her first time going into battle with the Resistance. Though she would be piloting the Falcon with Chewy, her blaster was in her holster and her staff was inside the Millennium Falcon. As the general spoke about remembering those who perished on that fateful day she gave Rose’s hand a soft squeeze. She saw the tears in her eyes, even though they didn’t fall. She recalls how angry she felt as she watched the fleet being destroyed in Snoke’s throne room, but cannot imagine how Rose feels right now. It seems almost like a lifetime ago. She listens intently to her review of the battle plans absorbing the minute details.

They were assigned to Kare Kun’s squadron. Though they hadn’t talked a whole lot, Rey truly admired her strength and had a lot of respect for her husband Snap, who was part of Dameron’s crew. Kare assigned the falcon to a clean up position to attack the base, and to make sure no land support could help. They weren’t the first line of the assault, but Rey’s and Chewbacca’s talent for hitting their targets put them in place to make sure if anything is missed- they will get it. 

They are all solemn, but the adrenaline in the room can be felt. Everyone is geared up and ready for this moment. They greet each other one last time and all head towards the docking bay.

Poe approaches Rey, with a confident smile. 

“I'll see you on the docking bay after our victory”, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they walked through the ship towards the docking bay. 

“How do you know it will be a victory?” she replies with a half smile but still serious mindset. 

“Well, I’m the hotshot pilot and you’re the Jedi- who could stop us?” he counters, kissing the top of her head.

Rey laughs at that, wrapping her free hand around his waist as they walked towards their ships. At the Falcon, he issues her a tight hug and leaves her, walking away backwards with a lingering look until he's forced to turn around.

The Agis’ docking bay is massive. Though it's not as large as the Supremacy, or even the Finalizer for that matter it easily held the dozens of X-wing fighters, shuttles, the Millenium Falcon and the ships they upgraded the past couple of months. It's now completely abuzz with everyone helping each other into the ships, checking the take-off safeguards, and getting their respective droids on board as well. Each is now fueled, prepped, boarded, and ready to go. 

Rey and Chewy prepped and loaded the Millennium Falcon for battle. She always kept the discussions before serious situations light to distract herself from getting nervous or stressed. She had the ability to compartmentalize her feelings quite well and this was definitely one of those moments that this strength was coming in handy.

As they settled into the cockpit she turns to him and says, “You know, we need a rematch.” They were parked in the fighter bay, but ready to go.

Chewy replies with laughter and a roar about how he will definitely play dejarik against her again, as long as she learned how to lose better. Rey was in fact, a sore loser. She has been told by Poe, Rose, Finn, and now her fellow copilot. She frowns, looks at him with a glare, remembering her total defeat, and equally annoyed that someone else has pointed out this flaw.

Chewbacca wags his finger at her with a roar alluding to his point.

With a lurch, Agis is out of hyperspace and the ship arrives right outside Chandrila. This was the final pause before action. Rey takes a deep breath, and settles into the moment. The bay door opens and the Black squadron flies mercilessly out into open space, disappearing as they descended towards the planet.

As they watched the fighters clear the bay, over the comms she hears Poe issue orders as he takes lead on the attack and pursues the Finalizer. As Rey and Chewy watched the final x-wings of the black unit fly out, like clockwork Kare Kun’s Stiletto Squadron lights up and starts evacuating as well. The Falcon is the last ship to exit. 

They drop into Chandrila air space and Rey quickly takes in the scenery. A beautiful planet with blue oceans and green hills, the First Order’s military base is glaringly disconnected from the landscape, and for a moment she feels regret at what they’re about to do to this countryside. 

The organized chaos of this battle is a first for Rey, and she is awed by the moment. The beautiful silence of space is interrupted once they reach the planet's atmosphere. The violent sounds of the squadron screaming through the sky and hitting their targets envelop her ears. She could not only see and hear all the explosions, blasts, and crashes from the battle, she felt it in the force as well. Her adrenaline goes out into the force and her signature spikes, unintentionally waking the dark side within. 

Rey quickly saw the critical damage had been done, as Poe’s unit hit all the weaknesses, fully crippling the Finalizer. They bombed the top of it first, attacking it in waves with X-Wings creating beautiful lines of explosions on their target. Their method was deliberate and organized, reminding her of plowing a field as the fighters lined up behind each other, creating a relentless string of repetitive bombings. Their tactic effectively rendered the Finalizer useless. The redundant battle cruiser lurched heavily suddenly on the starboard side, with major explosions appearing from within. It's now clear their objective will be met. 

Even though it's severely damaged, Poe and the rest of the squad are merciless with their attack, bombing the Finalizer from all angles as the shields are now fully down ensuring their victory leaving no chances.

As the Black Squadron executes their mission, Kare Kune’s unit mows down their main shipyard in one sweep, triggering an immediate evacuation. The exodus of stormtroopers leaving the base is a sight, with a sea of white uniforms running out in their practiced procedure, lining up far away from the base and out of harm's way.

Enthusiastically, the Falcon teams up behind the second wave of fighters, attacking and destroying the smaller shipyard towards the back of the base. Rey and Chewbacca turn around and help the unit easily lay waste to the main area, effectively destroying hundreds of TIE planes and the surrounding structures that were in place. 

With all the stormtroopers seemingly out of the buildings, Kare Kun ordered the destruction of the other buildings, walls, equipment yards, and other integral aspects of this massive campus. Rey and Chewy did exactly what they were told- cleaning up. They blasted everything that wasn’t on fire, hitting the hard spots that X-wings couldn’t hit or didn’t have the power to destroy. 

Rey hears a loud explosion followed by an incredible rumble, and then feels a shockwave rock the Falcon like nothing she had ever experienced. They both look up and see the Finalizer splintering into major pieces, breaking apart in the sky, Chandrila's gravity taking hold. The black squadron is still swarming and on the ground, stormtroopers flee even farther away from the falling wreckage. 

The mission was accomplished and was focused in awe at the beautiful destruction. As she watched the chaos below, Rey taps into the dark. A feeling inside her roared to life, flaring up within. A language she had never heard before, yet completely understood whispered words to encourage her to embrace her anger, hate, and passion.

She briefly struggled at the tipping point, but then her rage for Hosnian Prime, the destruction of the Resistance at Crait, but most of all, Ben choosing the dark side over her, pushed Rey over the edge.

It was a thirst that could not be quenched by anything except for more. Even though the ship was crashing to the ground her immediate decision was to add to the chaos and hate. She steered the ship down suddenly and blew up more of the base and the grounded pieces of the downed ship adding to the damage inflicted. The base was basically obliterated, but Rey was not done yet.

_More._

She thought to herself as they screamed towards the ground and she fired the Falcon’s weapons towards the falling machinery and base, hitting each and every target she shot at.

_More!_

She fires at anything that wasn’t on fire, she watched everything blow up and explode, which fed her rage. She no longer thought of her friends, or peace, or the few happy moments she had in life as these were no longer accessible. They were shut out by the all encompassing rage and darkness within her. She was finding unbridled strength through this fury. In the back of her mind where the dark side shoved it deep, deep, down, the light begged her to stop, come back, and find peace.

She tunes it out.

Rey calibrates her weapons and keeps shooting at the enemy, destroying everything she could see. 

She does not quit, even when Chewy tries to get her to stand down, and doesn’t relent until she gets the calm signal for retreat from General Kun to stop attacking and do a final perimeter sweep before heading back to the Agis. 

As they did their final check, Rey noticed one solitary undamaged TIE fighter in the shipyard. Her greed gets the best of her, her desire to actually fly a TIE, and without consulting her copilot she drops the Falcon down to retrieve it. She ignores Chewy’s roars that they don’t need it, it's time to get back to the Agis. When she doesn't answer he issues an ultimatum that he isn't going to land so they should just leave. She looks at him with a coldness in her eyes giving him a chill and for a moment, he thinks he sees a brief flash of yellow in her pupils. She stands up and walks out of the cockpit heading towards the platform of the ship.

The dark side of the force has fully engulfed her at this point and the Falcon doesn’t even land, hovering at least thirty feet over the shipyard. Rey easily drops down to the ground, and with an angry sweep of her hand, she closes the platform. Chewy comms to Kaydel that Rey is stealing an enemy plane and to let everyone know it is her arriving in the Agis and not an attack from the First Order. He waits for her to get into the commandeered ship.

Rey easily slides into the cockpit and she works on launching the ship. There are fires and explosions everywhere and the planet rumbles as pieces of the Finalizer crash onto the ground. This hail of debris raining down on the planet is dangerous, but Rey doesn't seem to notice and doesn't think twice of the growing risks outside. Her newest bounty lifts off the ground and she guides it into the air.

As she tails the Falcon, Chewy comms to Rey and with a roar demands she come back. Rey takes a deep breath and with a shudder snaps back to reality. The dark side was nibbling at her, content with her choices, reveling in her actions, now fully sated and fading away as she drifted towards the light. 

“I don't know what came over me, but I am back” Rey replies, not fully honest with him. She had this happen in Snoke’s throne room when she embraced the dark side at that moment as well. She didn’t regret what she did then, and she doesn’t regret what she did now. 

Chewy mutters to himself how he thought he would never see something like that again. 

“What do you mean?” she asks, confused.

Chewbacca doesn’t reply. 

+  
  
The Agis slipped into hyperspace. They had lost only one plane, due to pilot error. Everything is checked off and cleared, allowing everyone to finally celebrate. The adrenaline and energy is palpable on deck, electrifying the moment.

Poe strides up to Rey in his orange pilot uniform, white vest, harness, and combat boots. The best part of his outfit was his thousand watt mega smile that was seemingly just for her. He reaches her, pauses and his facial expression softens. His one hand gently pulls her in by the waist, and his other hand pulls her face closer to him still. He stops, looks her in the eyes and leans over giving her a quick but deep passionate kiss. He pulls away briefly, looks at her face up and down and kisses her again. Rey’s one hand is at his shoulder and her other hand grabbing his elbow pulling him tightly towards her, lost in the moment.

Neither one of them noticed the droid taking footage. 

++++++++

Kylo Ren, helmet and all, turns away from the totally destroyed comm panel and looks at Hux in disgust. He strides over to the conference table and uses the force to lift him several feet in the air as he stands in front of the rest of the First Order cabinet. 

“That is what I think of the _raid._ It's a shame you weren't there. Perhaps you're the spy leaking information to the resistance about critical base moves?” he questions. 

Hux looked terrified at the accusation, and Kylo couldn’t tell if he started shaking from that or the lack of oxygen. Perhaps both.

He wasn't focused on the epic failure that will not only cost them time, but money as well. Since the Resistance had started using TPZ to promote their cause, their holovids were now part of the First Order daily briefings, and Kylo Ren got a first hand look of who TPZ calls _The Resistance’s Power Couple._

One of the more recent gifts from the force is it now shares their extreme bursts of emotions or pain. He was startled awake when he felt her channel the dark side during the attack. By the time he was fully dressed and on the bridge the damage had been done, and then he felt her burst of joy shortly thereafter. 

After seeing the footage, he knew where that came from, rendering him a serious blow.

He unsuccessfully tried to brush off his feelings of jealousy, regret, and deep envy as the footage played over and over and over in his mind.

He turned his rage to the High Command.

“Since dropping a payload is too challenging for you, might I suggest you consider concentrating more efforts to finding out who the spy is and stopping them? Maybe then you'll actually be able to do your job, otherwise I am going to assign you to FN-2187’s former position”

Hux cannot answer as his face is now slightly purple, still hovering in the air. Kylo Ren looks at him, turns his head slightly and lets him go.

“Yes, Supreme Leader” Hux gasped, crumpled on the ground, his neck already starting to bruise. 

He sat in his chair, turned to the rest of the generals and admirals in his presence, leaned forward and tersely said “As for the rest of you, come up with a plan to retaliate against the Resistance. We need to do some serious damage and remind them that we are the First Order and their chances of winning this war do not exist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's never been a plowed field on Jakku so Rey wouldn't know, but work with me here :))))
> 
> I know the preview was slightly misleading, but be honest you secretly loved it. Ok maybe not. If you're upset think who else is going to be pretty pissed about it.
> 
> [How Poe Kisses Rey/Why Ben Is Super Pissed](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs6a58jO69E)  
> [The Finalizer](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Finalizer)  
> [Mission To Batuu](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mission_to_Batuu)  
> [Batuu](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Batuu)  
> [Black Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Black_Squadron_\(Resistance\))  
> [Kare Kun](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Kar%C3%A9_Kun)  
> [Stiletto Squadron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Stiletto_Squadron)


	5. A Ticket Cost Only Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to my awesome Beta [Semp1ternal](https://archiveofourown.org/works/search?utf8=%E2%9C%93&work_search%5Bquery%5D=semp1ternal)!!! I did make a couple of last min edits, so if you see a mistake its on me.

“Did you get that?” Hardlan asks. 

He is standing in his ship, facing his crew, with the Steadfast easily taking up most of the background in the viewport behind him.

Hardlan has an average height and build for a human man, with salt and pepper hair, a large forehead, broad nose, brown eyes, and bright white teeth. Though he looks like he is in his late forties or early fifties, he is well into his sixties. He is wearing the latest fashion purchased at one of the luxury stores in Canto Bight. The long bell sleeve black tunic fits him perfectly, with intricate designs in red threading, trimming his collar down to the very low v that's open in front. He also is wearing black leather pants, platform combat boots, clearly for style and not function, leather bracelets, and a variety of rings on his fingers.

His videographer pushes up his glasses and gives him a prim smile and curt nod. He is uncomfortable being so close to the main battleship of the First Order, but doesn’t say anything to his eccentric boss. He knows that when people are brought to the Steadfast not everyone comes back.

“Good.” he replies. “Broadcast it. Now.”

+

Hardlan is flanked by the Knights of Ren and is being escorted through the battleship. They sense his nervousness, but his face doesn’t give that away.

They bring him into a large open room, with a couch, a caf table, and some chairs. He looks around and tries to break the ice.

“So, are you the Supreme Leader’s bodyguards, or?” he trails off, sensing their coldness. 

They don’t move or acknowledge his question, and he takes the hint. He sits on the couch, waiting anxiously. He was immediately summoned after he streamed a video from the Resistance’s attack. It was unexpected as the only content he ended up streaming was footage of the last Jedi and some pilot making out. He knew better than to put footage of the Finalizer exploding into pieces and subsequently destroying the base. That footage was amazing, but he wasn’t looking for a death wish. Hardlan was exceptional at his job, cultivating key relationships with celebrities, politicians (before Hosnian Prime), musicians, and other powerful people in the galaxy and he knew what people did and did not want promoted about their lives. He had done a great deal of research on the new Supreme Leader, but found nothing on him except for the fact he is human and force sensitive.

The door slides open and Kylo Ren strides in. He is wearing his hood, mask, cape, and Hardlan swallows hard when he sees the saber hilt at his waist.

The Supreme Leader nods his head, and his knights wordlessly evacuate. When the door slides shut, he removes his hood and looks down at Hardlan, who is still sitting down.

He jumps up, puts on a plastic smile, and walks over to him with his hand out as if to shake it. 

“Supreme Leader, it's an honor finally to meet you!”

Kylo swings his arm out, gloved palm facing his visitor, stopping him in his tracks a few feet away.

“We have a problem.” he rasps through the mask. 

Hardlan doesn’t have a chance to reply, instead he watches this hulk of a man in front of him curl his fingers, simultaneously feeling his windpipe constricting.

Kylo is too lazy to lift him into the air, and chokes him enough so this man knows he means business, yet gives him enough oxygen to allow him to speak his final words.

Hardlan raises an eyebrow, and suddenly there’s a glint in his eye.

“Harder, Daddy” he whispers as he is being strangled.

“What?” Kylo’s hand opens, his grip letting go, his hand dropping down a bit, Hardlan’s comment catching him off guard. 

“What?” Hardlan repeats back to him, with a slight smile. He straightens his shirt and collar, flashing a bit more skin, showing off his chains at his neck. He wondered what the Supreme Leader looked like under the mask and under those layers of black. He also wondered if he was proportional.

He didn’t know that Kylo could hear his thoughts.

Becoming impatient, Kylo takes two steps forward, and as he is being examined by his so-called guest, he sweeps his hand in front of him and asks:

“How much more footage of the attack do you have?” 

“A lot.” 

“ Does any of it make the First Order look weak?”

“Yes, almost all of it.”

“Why don’t you upload it?”

“I don’t want you to kill me.”

“Why the footage of the girl and the pilot?”

“It didn’t make the First Order look bad, it would bring in great ratings, and the galaxy more than anything, wants a love story.”

“How did you receive the footage?”

“Through my anonymous submission uplink.”

“Can it be traced?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“People won’t submit anonymously if it can get traced back to them.”

“Are you a member of the Resistance?”

“No.”

“Then why are you promoting them?”

“To make a lot of credits.”

Hardlan stood there with a dazed look on his face. With all necessary questions answered, he waves his hand again, bringing him back to the present. He blinks several times. He doesn’t know about the interrogation, but he knows his life is on the line.

“My audience is thrilled with the First Order and Resistance, my channel's ratings have never been better.” he quips in an upbeat manner.

Kylo retorts “I prefer you only promote the First Order from now on, and I know I don’t have to remind you that your life depends on it.”

Hardlan pauses for a moment, thinking. “What I broadcast about the First Order and the Resistance is strictly controlled by me. I am the only one who has access to their submitted holos, and I am the only one who approves what gets seen and what doesn’t. My relationship with them requires exclusive access to their content. I select what goes up and what doesn’t make the cut. I can terminate the relationship, but it only opens the door for a pirate channel to show footage that makes your organization look bad to the entire galaxy.”

Hardlan asks, “Did you check your holo in the last hour?” 

Kylo doesn’t respond, and Hardlan knows the answer. He reaches into his pocket whipping out his holo and shows it to the man looming over him.

“I just broadcasted this a few minutes ago, before I boarded the Steadfast.”

He swipes and hits play and Kylo sees Hardlan standing in his ship with the Steadfast in the background. The ship looks enormous and deadly, with TIE fighters flanking the battle cruiser from every angle.

“Hey everyone! I’m here just about to board the galaxy’s most incredible space ship, the Steadfast to meet for the first time our incredible Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. I am going to have a sit down with him and talk about how he is making the galaxy a better place and how TPZ is going to help develop our galaxy as we all work together under our new leaders. This is going to be a great experience, and I will be sure to broadcast all about it tomorrow. After these messages, you’ll see an exclusive interview with Nalla Maleska, she will be talking about the Canto Bight Gala, if she has a date, what she's going to wear, and she will update us about her latest holofilm!”

Kylo watches the video, and sees where this is going.

Hardlan takes a deep breath, “State run news is one thing, but a third person who the public trusts is entirely different. TPZ isn’t run by the First Order which makes that broadcast look more authentic. I’ve made people into stars, and I’ve ended their careers on the basis of how I showcase their story. The public knows I am not owned by you and will believe anything I tell them. I don’t value facts, I value making money and of course being alive. Frankly, I don’t care who runs this galaxy as long as I get to make a profit." 

Kylo scans his mind, and confirms he is telling him the truth.

"I can assure you, any negative news passed on to me will never see the light of day, and I have been doing this for the past few months.” Hardlan adds.

“What do you mean?” Kylo his hands instinctively ball into fists.

“The slaughter at Jakku about a year ago, right before Hosnian Prime. I got footage of that, which you are in. A village is mowed down at night, you capture the pilot who kissed the Jedi in the footage as well.”

The Supreme Leader growls slightly.

Hardlan nervously prattles on, “I am sure you recall, we didn’t have a deal at that time, but I knew better than to put that on my program - without you telling me. Look Supreme Leader, you’ve seen the approval ratings I have sent you, and I'm telling you with my help I can get them higher.”

He doesn’t say anything as he contemplates which way to kill him. He pauses for a moment, and reaches for his lightsaber.

“Sir?” he stammers to Kylo. “I think I know what the issue is.”

“Do you?” the Supreme Leader responds sarcastically, his hand wrapped around the saber’s hilt about to solve the problem.

“You have a spy, don’t you?” 

He doesn’t answer and doesn’t move, hand gripping the handle firmly.

“It’s how the Resistance got the information, right? The base and the ship? That must have been classified, not luck.” Hardlen asks, in a frantic tone.

Kylo seems to grow in front of him, his anger palpable.

“I can help you find him. Or her.” he blurts out.

“How?” Kylo asks, the monotone hiss hiding the aggressive tone.

“A reward. Look, I announce a reward, anyone with information that leads to the capture of the spy will get a huge sum of credits. I’ll offer the bounty, and the First Order pays it.”

Kylo says nothing.

“Or you know, I can pay for it, I don’t mind. I can add it in between promos, make it a big deal. Trust me, people in this galaxy will do anything to get paid.”

“That they do,” Kylo responds, mockingly. “Make sure you stay on message about the First Order, and while you’re at it, I want access to all of the intel you receive on the Resistance, whether you play it or not. Most importantly, get me that spy, before my patience wears out.”

With a quick turn, he strides out the room, placing his hood over his head as he opens the door and walks out.

Hardlen rubs his neck as he is escorted back to his ship, relieved he is still alive.

+++++++++

Kylo Ren steps into his private chamber and steps over his housekeeping droid that is busy vacuuming. With a click he removes his helmet, followed by his cape, gloves, belt, and boots, placing them on the stand by the door. It's a convenient place to take off and put on the final pieces of his uniform. His hair is wet, soaked with sweat from his workout with the Knights of Ren. He needed to channel his rage today, and decided to do so in full battle uniform to add to the challenge. 

His quarters are the largest on the ship, with Pryde and Hux having similar but smaller stations on the opposite side of the floating base. His suite has two sizable rooms, and everything is metal, a slate gray, or black tone.

When first entering, there is a full kitchen area, a small table for eating, and an open space for meditations and working out. There is also a viewport, not large but big enough to see a bit of space and a piece of the planet they’re orbiting today. 

Kylo turns to his 434-FPC Personal Chef Droid and requests dinner, asking for a hearty meal to be ready in 30 minutes as he strips off his shirt and enters his bedroom and lounge.

A very large bed is by the wall when you first enter, with black bedding and several pillows on it. A small stand is next to it, for his saber at night.

A massive viewport takes up most of the wall space’s round curve, giving him a stellar view of the planet and space outside. Facing the viewport is his couch and caf table. Sandwiching the couch are two massive comfortable chairs. Several data pads, a small stack of books, a blaster, a calligraphy set, and a dejarik board clutter the rectangular table. His servant droid has stated multiple times that it's the only mess on the entire spaceship. 

He momentarily takes in the view, deeply sighs, and turns and looks at his protocol droid, 0-0-0 standing there waiting for him. 

“Get me some bacta for my bruises and bring in my dinner when it is ready, I require a meeting with you this evening.”

“Yes, Master Kylo.” the droid responds in a perfect accent that always takes him back to his childhood. The silver protocol droid steps out of the room and the door shuts behind him.

The droid’s strengths were etiquette and torture. Kylo was gifted the droid by a corrupt landowner from the Lythos system, and though he looked and sounded exactly like C3PO, his personality matrix couldn’t be more different. Instead of gold, his body had a silver shine to it.

The 0-0-0 not only used to work for Vader, but he was also part of an assassination plot against his uncle, Luke Skywalker. His assassin painted him gold and tried to have him approach Luke. He was successful in capturing him momentarily, but was thwarted by Han Solo and Chewbacca. Triple zero’s arms were torn off by his uncle Chewy in the process. 

He heads to the ‘fresher as he is in dire need of a shower. It has an oversized shower and a separate tub, which he soaks in on occasion after a difficult battle or sparring match with the knights.

He does his best to channel the day out by stepping into the almost scalding water of his shower. He tries to wash and rinse himself of the physical and emotional pain but it doesn’t work, so he settles for shampoo and suds. He rinses his hair and upper body, blood mixing with the bubbles and he looks down at his bruises, turning towards the shower head allowing the water to hit his face. He snaps and pounds his fist against the shower wall several times, then leaning his forehead against its surface, letting the water pour over him, exhausted on too many levels. 

He tries not to think about her, about the holo, how she is probably with _him_ right now, how he regrets not killing Hardlen, his sloppy sparring session, and how the losses today just kept adding up. The icing on the cake was he had no one to talk to right now except a droid that he hated, and he realized how alone he was, and always will be. He tenses for a moment as he realizes where his hand has wandered and what its doing, and he sees now he is fully erect. 

His one arm is over his head, bloody at the knuckles from his interaction with the wall. His hair is all over his face soaking wet from the water pouring down making a curtain around his face, blocking out everything around him except the feeling of his cock as he strokes away the day’s frustrations. He thinks about her, her freckles, her waist, and the part of her ass he unintentionally managed to touch when he grabbed her and he continues with more enthusiasm stroking himself almost rhythmically. He quickened the pace as he remembered her earthy smell from a long day’s work and how her scent, the mixture of sweat, smoke, and sunlight all rolled into one, delighted him more than anything. He can almost taste her salty skin again as he licked his lips. He hears her whisper _“Ben”_ sees her wet mouth and her eyes shut, ready for him, and he comes all over the basin, his spent draining down with the suds. He shudders slightly and rinses himself off. He steps out, grabbing a towel.

He dried himself off completely and turned on the fresher dryer so his hair is done now as well. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to style it. He looks at himself in the mirror memorizing all the marks and bruises to apply bacta. 

His stomach growls suddenly, reminding him he needs to eat and he steps into his room naked, towel over his shoulder, heading towards the wall to the side of the viewport, which has a walk-in closet with an entirely black wardrobe and bureau inside it.

He dresses himself in a long sleeve and comfortable pants deciding against his slippers. He slides open his door with a wave, and triple zero steps in with a tray of his dinner, a delicious aroma waiting to be eaten. The tray has his plate of food, cutlery, a napkin, and his favorite cold ale from a brewery in Wild Space. 

“Place the food on the caf table, by the chair for me to sit in, and let me be for a bit, I’ll call for you when I’m ready.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.” He hears him leave and close the door in the background.

Kylo walks up and takes in the view, as they hovered over a planet near the border of Wild Space. Negotiations with several planets were necessary, bringing him out to this sector of the edge of the mapped regions. No one knew, but this is his favorite part of the galaxy. He reminisces, thinking of all the moments in the past when he was a child in the Falcon, when his father would take him exploring. It was just them and he was his copilot sitting next to him during the long trips through regions unknown, always in uncharted areas where no one had been before. 

A buried memory of his father, floats to the surface. He recalls Han sleeping with his legs up, letting him fly for hours to their uncharted destination. 

“Promise me,” he grumbles, “You won’t tell your mother.” He leans back, putting his arms behind his head, stretching out for the long haul, nodding off almost immediately, trusting his young boy with the spaceship.

He sighs, leaning his left side against the clear window, looking out into the vast wilderness of space, taking in the solitude and beauty all at once.

He hears a noise in the background behind him, the sounds of his dinner plate and cutlery moving around. His fury takes over. Kylo Ren whirls around to destroy the annoying droid, looking forward to throwing him against the wall, hopefully shattering him into a thousand pieces, finally able to get his rage out.

He roars, pointing his finger, “I told you to get-”

And he freezes, eyes opening wide.

The man eating his food looks up at him. He’s wearing a white collared shirt and a dark leather jacket. His shaggy gray hair is unkempt, and his small brown eyes glimmer in awe as his wrinkled face is frozen in surprise. He gives a lopsided smile and says,

“Hey, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Hardlan Haren/ TPZ Inspo](https://www.google.com/search?q=harvey+levin&source=lmns&bih=657&biw=1366&rlz=1C1CHBD_enUS870US870&hl=en&ved=2ahUKEwjs3Ju0iK_oAhWRf6wKHU5IAcgQ_AUoAHoECAEQAA)   
>  [Choke Inspo Meme](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lythos_system)   
>  [434-FPC Personal Chef Droid](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/434-FPC_Personal_Chef_Droid)   
>  [0-0-0](https://star-wars-canon-extended.fandom.com/wiki/0-0-0)   
>  [Lythos System](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lythos_system)   
>  [Wild Space](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Wild_Space)


	6. I Know That You Need Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CW TW About mental health breakdown, skip down to ++++++++ see notes for summary. 
> 
> Title is from [Buddy Holly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kemivUKb4f4) by Weezer. 
> 
> I didn't have the chance to get this Beta'd by today so its not, apologies for misspelling and sloppy writing, I figured you'd rather have an update with some grammar issues vs waiting a couple more days. That is how I roll at least, I will clean up the grammar later.

Kylo Ren is staring at his father, who after greeting him, continued to eat his dinner.

“You are not a force ghost.” He states, still frozen in place by the viewport, finger in midair.

“You got that right.” Han replies, cutting a huge piece of meat and then swiping it into the spicy sauce on the side, stuffing it into his mouth. He grabs the ale in front of him, and guzzles some of it down, gulping loudly. 

“Not too bad for First Order swill.” Han says while nodding and chewing.“Is this the mess food, or do you have a private chef droid?”

Kylo is in shock, trying to piece together what is happening. He blinks for a moment, realizing today’s events have created some sort of acute stress reaction.

He looks at his son and turns his head slightly. “I’m real, this isn’t your imagination if that's what you’re thinking.” Han replies. He takes another bite of food. It is clear he is hungry.

Kylo cautiously observes his guest, keeping a stoic face.

The door has a firm knock and slides open with 0-0-0 standing in the doorway. 

“Did you call for me, sir?” he asks politely, not looking in.

Han Solo has gone silent, with food on one side of his cheek. He observes the droid from the mirror reflection on the wall, motionless.

“I changed my mind,” says Kylo. He swipes his hand, closing the door in the droid’s face before he could respond.

“Does he talk as much as Threepio?” Han asks, diving into the side of vegetables, assuming he’s the same model protocol droid.

Kylo looks at him, stunned at the casual conversation. He cautiously looks at his father’s chest to see if he can see where he stabbed him with the lightsaber. He sees the burn hole in his shirt, the healed skin on his chest, and the singed leather hole at the back of his jacket. 

He slowly walks to the chair across from him and sits down.

As Han takes another swig of Kylo’s beer, he looks in his son’s eyes. 

He puts down the now empty glass, wipes his mouth with the cloth napkin, and places it back on his thigh. Like his son, he also has attended the Leia Organa Solo school of etiquette.

“What's on your mind?” He asks flatly. 

Kylo had heard this question, in this tone, his entire life. Usually, it was towards his mother, moments before they would have a huge argument. He gives his father a questioning look, raising his eyebrow ever so slightly. 

“Seeing that you’re in my head, you would know the answer to that.” Kylo replies evenly. He is sitting in the chair now, which was designed to be large enough to fit his frame. His hands are on his knees, palms down and his posture is slightly slouched, directly facing the man he killed almost a year ago. He knows his father is dead, and he knows that the vision in front of him isn’t real. He didn’t expect a mental breakdown would be his downfall.

Han cocks his head to the side and gives him a scolding look and he shakes his head. This is a facial expression he hasn’t seen since he was a child.

“I am not in your head.” He states, waving the fork at him. He stabs another vegetable with it and puts it in his mouth, maintaining eye contact.

Kylo pauses, and looks down, thinking for a moment, then looks back up again. “What was the last thing you remember?”

“Do you really want to know?” he replies, his tone changing in a tone that warns Kylo Ren he may not like the answer.

“I do.”

“It was the last time I saw you.” he starts, gently. “I remember touching your cheek, and falling into the abyss.”

“Why did you do that?” Kylo asks softly, in an almost whisper, the mask for a brief moment, coming off, the sorrow deep in his eyes, terrified of the answer.

“Well, you stabbed me with your lightsaber, so I fell” Han replies, giving him the charming Solo look: a half shrug, light tone of humor, and a dash of sarcasm. There is no bite or cruelty. Han continues eating, but now there isn’t much left of anything on the plate.

Kylo chuckles in disbelief, shakes his head ever so slightly, and stands up. “Even in my hallucinations, you don’t take situations seriously.”

“Hey! I take everything seriously. It’s the way I cope that you struggle with. Your mother dictates and does her political thing, you brood in the corner bubbling with angst and rage, and your Uncle-”

“Tried to kill me.” Kylo interrupts, the mask off again, rage swirling about his face.

“He did what?!” Han shoots out of the chair. He is also now standing, facing Kylo, hands balled into fists, fork and knife still in each hand mirroring his son’s default stance, the napkin now on his shoe. His arms and shoulders seem to have gotten wider, more aggressive, and imposing, even though they belong to an older man. Kylo takes a small step back, realizing he has unintentionally been mirroring Han’s posture of aggression and rage for the past decade.

“He. Tried. To. Kill. ME.” Kylo responds in a clipped tone, pointing to himself when he spoke the last word.

“I heard you the first time. We need to find him before Rey does. I’m going to kill him myself.”

Kylo freezes. “You believe me?”

“Of course I believe you, you’re my son.” Han retorts, sounding even angrier if that were possible. Kylo has seen his father upset before, but this is a whole new level of fury.

Kylo gives a very shaky exhale at this response and turns around, unable to face him any longer. 

“Han, I need you to leave. Right now.” Kylo says not facing him, staring up and away, eyes wet.

“No. I’m not leaving you ever again.” Han declares firmly.

“Please, just go, never come back.” He shuts his eyes, bracing for a standard Solo argument, not knowing if he is more anxious about the fight, or the fact that he is having one with himself. He wonders, briefly, if everyone is this aware when they drift into madness. 

His father doesn’t reply.

Kylo gathers himself and slowly turns around and sees the empty seat, the completely eaten meal, and napkin on the floor. Part of him is relieved, his mental episode is over, but this gnawing bit misses him already. He stuffs those feelings away, tucking them in a box, behind a locked door, safe from everyone, even himself.

There is a knock on the door and with a wave he slides it open.

0-0-0 leans in and says “Sir, are you ready for me now?”

Kylo waves the droid in, pacing back and forth in front of the viewport, hands behind him with one hand gripping his forearm.

0-0-0 is now standing in front of him, waiting for his orders. 

“Have you noticed anything strange about Mitaka lately?” Kylo asks the droid.

“What do you mean, Supreme Leader?” 0-0-0 arches his body to the side at joint.

“Strange behavior, conversations with himself, extreme nervousness or anxiety, things of that nature.” He asks, inquisitively.

“I don’t engage that much with Mitaka, but I haven’t seen or heard anything. Would you like me to ask the other droids, sir?”

“That won’t be necessary. I need several data pads and documents in the next few days, this task is classified if you’re open to the assignment.”

“Sir, as I have stated to you, it was an honor serving Lord Vader, and it has been an honor serving the Supreme Leader as well. Though I would prefer to torture a human or droid, I am at your service.” 0-0-0 states.

“Very well, I need as much information on signals for multiple personalities, mental and nervous breakdowns, schizophrenia, acute stress reactions, and delusional behavior. Any and all information on these subjects would be helpful. Though I want to believe this is not an issue, I would like to confirm this, and I am asking for your discretion as I don’t want to jump to conclusions without all the facts. He is a loyal Lieutenant.”

“Right away, Supreme Leader, I’ll get started immediately.”

The droid heads over to the tray to collect his eaten meal, bending over to pick up the used napkin.

“Oh, and Triple Zero, have the cook make me one more meal, ale and all. I am still famished from today.”

Kylo is officially starving, realizing the meal he ate during his psychotic break was not enough. He sits down on the couch, facing the viewport trying to find something on his caf table.

“Absolutely sir, and I do apologize.” 0-0-0 replies as he steadies the tray in his hands.

“For what?” Kylo is now looking at a data pad with tomorrow’s schedule and meetings, focusing on tomorrow's agenda, trying to forget the last fifteen minutes of this harrowing day.

“I didn’t confirm there was cutlery. I cannot find it on the tray or on the caf table. I assume you used the force to eat. Next time, just let me know and I will remedy the situation immediately. Oh and this napkin has a shoe print on it! Dreadful indeed. I’ll be sure to double check from here on out. I shall return with another serving shortly. Thank you for your patience, I know this was not the best day for the First Order, but I believe you have Lord Vader’s resolve, and this hiccup will pass quickly.”

“Triple zero, wait.” Kylo realizes this droid also doesn’t stop talking, as he grabs a pad on the caf table, and types for a moment. 

“Please disregard your previous assignment. I have more important tasks at hand. I've just upgraded your clearance, which now gives you full access to the Empire, New Republic, Sith, and Jedi archives. I believe you already have full access to the First Order data. In all organizations I want a full analysis on resurrected humanoids and religions which follow this type of faith. Though we both know according to the Sith, there is no afterlife, I still want you to research in the Sith and Jedi archives for any kind of return to life experiences, resurrection, and communication or other planes with the dead. The Jedi path does have force ghosts and though I would like any information on that, that is not the focus. Later on this week I will need your assistance at the archives in Coruscant, and this information will be a good foundation. I assume you recognize that this inquiry takes precedence over all tasks.”

With a nod 0-0-0 acknowledges his assignment. “Happy to be of service, I will gather the information immediately, and look forward to the expedition in Coruscant. If a librarian is hiding anything, I am more than willing to torture them for information. We should consider torturing one in the first place, just to send a message to the rest of them. Full compliance is more readily given once someone they know has been permanently injured.” 0-0-0 eyes seem to glow even more red at the idea of torturing a human. 

“I shall return immediately with your second helping sir, anything else before you retire for the evening?” 0-0-0 is standing by the door.

Kylo slowly exhales, shakes his head, but doesn’t respond.

++++++++

There are a few things that Rey doesn’t remember experiencing in her life that most likely happened at some point. A good night’s rest is one of them. When living on Jakku, she was always prepared for attacks from other scavengers or wild animals at night. As a little girl she taught herself to wake up quickly and be aware of her surroundings. The smallest noise, the lightest scrape or step, and Rey would be wide awake. This is so ingrained in her psyche that even now she struggles to fall into a deep sleep, or to sleep at all, even though she's safe on a heavily guarded military property. 

When they reactivated the base, the forest loaded with gentle animals, paused for a short while. Once they realized their new inhabitants weren’t menacing, the curious creatures approached and even explored the compound and a handful had now been adopted as pets in exchange for scraps of food. The nocturnal creatures of the forest that rested during the day were just as boisterous as their daytime counterparts fueling her insomnia. She wishes she could have the peace and quiet of a spaceship, but the comfort of a bed. Rey did her best to mute them out at night, but it was a fight she always seemed to lose. She could not only hear them, but feel them through the force as well, at times it almost seems magnified. It only seemed to get worse over time.

There are some nights that she does sleep for a full eight hours. They are dreamless rests, and she wakes up more exhausted instead of more rested, her muscles even aching as if she had a stiff workout. She first assumed it was a side effect of the planet, but she is the only one on base with this ailment. 

A satisfying night of sleep is something that has plagued her for too long. Her body and mind were exhausted from the battle and the trips back and forth with recruitment, and her Jedi training.

As she drifted off into an uneasy rest, she pushed herself to fall deeper into a heavier state of sleep. She crawled into bed in her pajamas, cozy under the light blankets and bed sheets. These new amenities were novel to Rey and she was thankful for the multiple pillows as well. She focused her breathing, and drifted off into the dark ocean of dreamless sleep, until she reached the shores of a place where her mind was allowed to wander. 

She was on an open plain, in a valley surrounded by low mountains. It was a beautiful grassy field and the golden wisps were as high as her elbows. She could hear the wind, a soft but determined whistle, gusting through the valley she was in, and the waves of air stirring the tops of the grass creating patterns that disappeared as quickly as it blew. The breeze blew with her, seemingly pushing her toward the direction of the hills nearby. They seemed achingly distant, Rey knowing she didn’t have the strength to go that far. She paused for a moment, feeling the wind and the perfect warmth from the sun. It wasn’t too hot and the heat ensured she wasn’t feeling cold from the unrelenting breeze. She hears a sound, and with her trained mind whirls around, trying to physically wake up. 

“My dear” he says in an accent similar to hers, “Do not be afraid. If you wish to wake up, just will it so, and you will be back in your quarters curled up, underneath your blankets.”

He was very tall, as tall as Ben she realized, with soft blue eyes, long hair half pulled back, a trim beard and wearing very traditional Jedi robes. His tunic and trousers were a beige linen, wrapped at the waist, and his dark brown robes cloaked him safely from the breeze.

“Who are you?” she asked inquisitively, forgetting the desire to wake up.

“Qui Gon Jinn. A Jedi master, and a friend.”

He smiled, “Unlike my green companion who takes great joy in torturing you, I am here to help.”

“What green friend?” Rey asks, even more confused.

Qui Gon chuckles. “He is wiping your memory of him after each lesson it seems. I cannot explain why, but I assure you there is a good reason behind it. Whatever he is teaching you is in your subconscious and will come out when the time is ready. He is the most powerful Jedi to have existed in our galaxy. Trust his judgment more than anyone else's. He trained Luke Skywalker.”

“Why won’t you all visit me when I am conscious?” She asks. “I am exhausted already, and need to rest.”

Qui Gon starts walking, following the breeze’s direction, and he gently motions her to follow. Rey strides next to him as they are clearly heading to a specific place.

“I prefer the dream state to communicate. Less distractions, more focus, and no external noise to bother us, I cannot speak for Master Yoda, only myself.”

Rey nods. “Is this the first time we’ve met or are you wiping my memory as well?”

Qui Gon shakes his head back and forth “This is our first of hopefully many engagements.”

The hills are closer now, and she now sees a structure in the distance. Qui Gon stops, turns, and faces her.

“This is a good place for your training.” he muses, with the building too far to see its shape.

Rey looks over his shoulder, peering at it, and Qui Gon steps into her line of vision, clearing his throat.

“If I wanted to take you there, I would have, but you, simply put, are not ready yet.”

Rey nods. His tone is gentle and he gestures to her to sit with him facing each other. She observes his lightsaber in his belt and she wonders the color of his blade, thinking of the meaning of each hue.

“Green.” Qui Gon states. “My lightsaber is green. I am glad someone is guarding and learning from our sacred texts. With our lessons and those books you will be a readied Jedi when the time comes. Keep reading and learning.”

“Yes Master Qui Gon.” Rey sits across from him. “How did you know what I was thinking?”

_You were broadcasting it, the same way I am right now._

He speaks to her without opening his mouth, looking at her directly.

_One of the first lessons padawans learned at the temple was creating walls for our thoughts and feelings, and opening doors to those we trust._

Rey furrows her brows, and asks another question, directing it towards him.

 _Has every force sensitive been hearing me?_ Her tone is slightly nervous, as she realizes all the things she has thought in front of the two force sensitive people she actively engages with.

_I assume you’re thinking about General Leia, and of course her son. She can definitely hear what's on your mind, and I am sure he does as well._

_How do I stop it from happening?_ She asks.

 _That is today’s lesson._ He smiles at her earnestly. _Today we are going to develop your skills to be able to communicate with other force sensitives, block them from hearing your thoughts and feelings, and reading people’s minds even further than you already are able to. Right now you’re able to absorb their intentions through the force, but today’s drill will further develop your abilities. Lets begin with a simple breathing meditation. Ready?_

Rey smiles back, eagerly. _Very._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben see his father eating his dinner. He assumes he is a hallucination, but discovers that he is most likely real due to the fact that The cutlery Han used is now missing. He assigns 0-0-0 to research possibilities on how Han is possibly alive or what he actually is.


	7. In the garage, I feel safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title is from [In The Garage](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0rV88Ev-og) by Weezer. 
> 
> Ben and Rey KICK IT.
> 
> Shout out to my kick ass beta [Semp1ternal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semp1ternal/pseuds/Semp1ternal)
> 
> DOUBLE Shout out to my sounding board and the best Reylo homie ever [CGarcia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgarcia/pseuds/cgarcia)

The sun is setting on a cool night on the Resistance base, the sky dark on one side, the moons hidden in their new phase, with clouds rippling the top. The other half is bleeding a beautiful purple, the only other hue in the sky is a splash of yellow from the sun, as it sets behind the mountain. The sounds of the wildlife in the forest are hushed, compared to the arguing pair outside the droid garage.

Rey stood in front of Poe with her arms crossed indignantly. Her signature three buns are loose, and she is wearing her darker wraps and hood. Her ankle boots are caked in mud from the latest Jedi training route. In the bag at her waist is her dinner, taken to go from the mess hall. 

The look on her face is of extreme frustration, and the last twenty minutes of calmly negotiating has gotten her nowhere. Rey growls in frustration and raises her voice two levels, drawing a metaphorical line in the sand.

“The answer is no! They can no longer practice here. Their music is terrible.” 

Poe glares at her, extremely irritated. He looks rugged in his training uniform, which consists of dark brown pants and his beige linen shirt. He is now rolling his sleeves half way up his arms, preparing for battle. 

“You do not have the authority to ban them from the workspace! It is considered a common area and the guys have 3 hours to play music until lights out.” His stance is wide, and his hands are now on his hips.

“I have a droid to repair. You’re being difficult.” Rey’s hands have now balled into fists, and her left foot steps forward.

“You actually have about 30 droids to repair. I distinctly recall Snap breaking two while training newbies. There will always be droids to repair.”

“I don’t want to deal with this tonight. I need to fix this droid as soon as possible. You all need to leave.” Her eyes are now shut, and she is rubbing her temples.

“Sorry Rey, but they’re not going anywhere! You can work with them or take your droid to your quarters. You can take your work to your room but they can’t. This is the only place they can play and not bother everyone else.”

“Unacceptable. I need the garage during the evenings as it's the only time I have in between training with Leia and working with the Resistance.” Rey feels she is somehow losing the battle, but that doesn’t mean she is giving up.

“You need to manage your time better. Look, there are 5 days a week, the guys just need two maybe three hours a day after dinner. That's all I’m asking. My men need to wind down from today’s drills and I am sure you’ve  _ noticed _ there aren’t any bars or clubs in the neighborhood!” Poe waves his arm towards the forest with a flourish.

As if on queue, the lead singer starts singing into the microphone, slightly off pitch.

Rey turns her head to the side and opens her eyes wide but her mouth wider to comment at the vocals, but someone is now walking up to the building. She looks over to see Jallo, one of the newer recruits, striding towards them with a grin on his face and a seven string hallikset on his back. The guitar strap across his chest has “HOSNIAN PRIME” tooled in the leather, and patch of the planet sewn next to the words. With a wave, he walks in between Rey and Poe.

“Really excited to start playing with the group tonight! I haven’t jammed with anyone in months. See you inside!” Jallo walks inside the garage, nodding his head to the beat of the band warming up.

Rey bit her lip and looked at Poe.

“One night a week.” she says in a lower tone.

“Four.” Poe says firmly, arms still at his waist.

“Two.” She spits back.

“Three. You see how happy they are. They need this. Three nights a week. The other two are all yours.” He runs his hand through his hair that's slightly flattened from the helmet he was wearing earlier. 

Rey gives a soft nod. “Deal.”

Poe breaks out in a huge grin, unaware of Rey’s unhappiness. “So, now that your evening is free, want to hang out? Maybe we could go on a night hike towards the river?” He leans over and grabs the loose end of her tunic that's hanging down by her waist. He affectionately tugs at it, trying to pull her closer. 

Rey doesn’t move, and her mouth turns into a flat smile. “No Poe, I can’t. I told you I need to repair the LOM. I can’t keep taking Threepio from the General to do translations. I need this droid for my work.”

Poe nods slightly, looking away. He dropped the material and took a step back, his victory somewhat empty. “Got it.” 

Rey sees his disappointment and offers consolation. “Breakfast? Tomorrow?”

+

Rey is at her desk in her private quarters with the LOM droid’s head on it, deep in concentration. The head isn’t the only missing appendage, the left arm is also resting on her desk. Next to her workspace is the droid’s body. She’s been tinkering with the microwave emitter/sensor for hours now, and snaps the last sensor in place, feeling confident in her work. She lovingly attaches the head, and while screwing the last bolts in place, she feels the force bond connect her and Kylo. She ignores him, right now, he is not her priority. 

Kylo watches her reconstruct the droid in silence. He immediately recognized the vintage model.

Confident in her work, excited that she’s finally got it repaired, and a little smug that she’s got herself an audience to brag to, she flips the hidden power switch that's on the droid’s back.

The droid disappeared from his sight when she turned it on and stopped touching it. He was enchanted with her reaction.

He watched her, as she clenched her hands into fists, and bellowed a scream in complete frustration. 

He takes her in and thinks;  _ Even in this moment, she is radiant. _

“What kind of droid is that?” He asks, inquisitively, not reacting to her tantrum, staring at the empty space, as if he could see it.

“It's garbage, that's what kind. This stupid LOM droid does not work. I’ve been trying to get him up and running for over a week now, I need him to help me with the texts, but I can’t get him to turn on.” Rey eyes the droid, and considers picking it up and heaving it against the wall.

Kylo nods his head. “Put your hand on it?” He approaches her, it was a gentle order but formed as a question.

He is standing next to her now, but facing the droid. Rey looks up at him, “I’ve tried everything. I replaced the recharge coupling, the powerbus cables, and even the vocabulator but it doesn’t work. I’ve gone over the schematics and literally repaired every part of this LOM. I spent the whole evening on the emitter for nothing.” She crosses her arms, emitting a guttural growl of frustration, her mouth set in a deep frown.

Kylo tsks and gives his head a half shake. “Your hand, put it on the droid.”

Rey rolls her eyes and places her palm on its shoulder. 

Kylo, now being able to see it, steps right in front of the LOM. He turns, faces the attached arm, and squats. Without looking up he says, “Pass me a carbon chisel?” in the same tone as before.

Rey keeps touching the droid as she reaches for her tool box, digging for what he requested. “There’s no damage or problems in the servomotor if that's what you’re thinking, I cleared out any rust and repaired the connectors.” She says in an aggressive tone, unhappy he is questioning her work. 

“Just hand me the chisel.” He seems unaffected by her attitude, and he raises his right hand in the air for her to hand it to him.

She puts it in his palm, careful to not touch him. He still hasn’t made eye contact. Rey is watching him work, and at this angle she can see the top of his head, a first. He is clearly in his private quarters as he is wearing a very snug short sleeved v neck t-shirt, socks, and comfortable looking loose trousers. His hair, as always, perfectly styled.

He pops open the casing, looks inside and gives it a gentle blow. “Do you have a needle?” He turns his head to the side and looks up at her. 

Rey’s eyes open slightly, he looked boyish from this angle, which caught her off guard. Her breath hitches, but she nods, and grabs one from her desk. She bends down, and brings it to him under the droid’s arm, looking at him directly. He reaches out and takes it from her, his hand gentle when it touches her fingers. Rey stands up straight and moves back behind him, watching him work.

He steadies the droid’s arm with one hand, and pushes the needle into a tiny embossed button hidden on the side panel that she missed. He snaps the casing shut and stands, giving her back the tools he’s borrowed. 

“Try it now.”

Looking up at him, she narrows her eyes slightly in annoyance, and without breaking eye contact drags her hand behind its back flipping the switch, eager to prove her point.

She jumps as the droid starts up. 

He gifts her with a lopsided grin. 

“It just needed a reboot. I’m quite familiar with this model for a variety of reasons. It should be fully functional in about,” he looks up calculating, “three, maybe four hours.”

He takes a couple of steps back to admire the LOM, as he hasn’t seen one in years. His one arm is now across his chest and his other hand’s fingers are running over his mouth. His muscles flexed, are now bulging through the material. Though he is clearly present, he is remembering something from his past.

Rey aggressively steps towards him, left foot forward, clutching the tools in one hand. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” He is confused at her reaction. 

“Help me. Why? No one does that.” she almost sneers. She drops her walls so he knows how she's feeling. Weariness, frustration, mistrust. The dark side feeds her emotions, and she sends a message that she knows he is up to something. Her hardened years on Jakku taught her that no one does anything out of kindness. She is wondering what Kylo Ren was looking to get out of this.

“What do you want from me?” she speaks to him, coldly.

He opens his mouth to say something, but pauses, as if to stop himself, dropping his arms to his sides.

“Uh, nothing. I knew the solution to your problem. Just being a friend.” He replies, slowly.

“Bantha shit. What are you getting at?” She is right in front of him now, and she is poking the handle of the chisel on his what she’s discovered, is a very firm chest. She remembered to put her walls up just in time, before he became aware of her thoughts.

He turned his head slightly, looking at her directly, and leaned into the handle more. 

“I was just being  _ nice _ . If you don’t want to deal with me Rey, sever the bond.”

His tone firm, his eyes reading her face, not stepping down.

Rey looks up at his swirling brown eyes and in their depths sees his sincerity. She exhales, takes a step back, and looks down at her hands.

“I am sorry I snapped at you. In Jakku, no one did anything without expecting something in return. The people here on base are kinder of course, but with the exception of my friends, no one goes out of the way to help.”

Kylo nods, understanding. “Did you have a bad day?”

She looks up at him wearily, “A long one and it's far from over. I failed my Jedi course, completely tuned out during a Resistance meeting, missed lunch, accidentally shorted out a droid, lost my workspace, and only got a ‘to go’ dinner.” Rey sighs, “Thankfully you were here to help me with LOM, otherwise I would have set him on fire and danced on the ashes.”

Kylo chuckles at her comment, but stops when he looks at her, and realizes she was being somewhat serious. “I’m sorry to hear you had a long day. Maybe it's time you relax?” he asks, trying to be supportive. 

He remembered when he was a child, how his mother would come home frustrated from politicking and his father would get her to unwind by having dinner prepared and making sure one of her favorite holo films was ready in the queue. Those nights would end with him being tucked into bed earlier than usual, and as he was falling asleep, he could sense his mother’s comfort that only came when his father’s arms wrapped around her, holding her tight, keeping her safe. He wished right now that he could take one step forward and embrace her, pull her into his chest and rub her back. He hated how she felt so far away, even though she was standing right in front of him.

“I can’t, I have to finish this droid tonight. That arm is going to take hours to reattach. Because of him, I am now four days behind on all my other work, so it's now or never.”

Kylo nods, running his hand through this hair. “I could help, if you want. I reassembled one while I was a padawan at Luke’s temple, I’m very familiar with this protocol.” He pauses. “Or you could sever the bond and I will see you when I see you, I take no offense.”

“Aren’t you busy?” Rey asks. She is still clutching the tools in her hand.

“No, I planned on reviewing some datapads as I’m doing research on a personal matter.”

Rey pauses for a moment. “How about I work on the arm, and you read? If I need your help, I’ll ask.” She doesn’t want his assistance outright, but her instinct pushes her to keep him nearby incase she needs it.

“Deal.” Kylo turns around and reaches down, a datapad now appearing in his hands. 

Rey heads back to her work desk, opens two drawers full of tools, and slides her chair in front of the droid. She grabs the arm, and sits on the chair to get started.

At the same time, Kylo lays down on his couch. 

Rey sneaks a glance, and it looks like he is floating in mid air. She realizes he’s laying down on his bed, but clears her thoughts to focus on the task at hand, pulling out the tools she knows she will need for the droid. She fixates on her work.

As Rey tinkered with the droid, she tried to focus, but something in the back of her mind points out that she has never done something like this before, and it seemed special, tender even. On Jakku she always worked alone, but even here on base no one really came to her quarters to spend time with her, and even less when she was repairing droids. When she spent time with Poe, it was usually doing things he enjoys, such as hiking, eating, or even going on a mission. Though those moments were special, this was a different feeling altogether. Rey gives her head a shake, telling herself to snap out of it, and finish the job.

Kylo struggled to concentrate on the content of the datapad. It wasn’t the incessant noise she was making, but the fact that it was the first time in years, or quite possibly the first time ever, he had this kind of company, or company in general. They were both working autonomously, and not even engaging with each other, but it seemed intimate. He glanced over at her just as she gave her head a shake, but she wasn’t looking at the arm in her hand. He wondered what was on her mind. He stopped himself at that moment, realizing she was in a relationship with someone else, and that his misguided feelings were his alone. He exhaled deeply. It was time he directed his attention to the research 0-0-0 gave him, and he immersed himself into his reading. He interlaced his hands behind his head, used the force to float the datapad above his face, and settled into the couch.

As the force bond hummed between them, they both fell into a deep rhythm of work that went deep into the night, unintentionally feeding off of each other’s energy, making them more productive. Rey assembles the droid diligently now, all wires attached at the elbow joint and is half way done with her project. She stifles a yawn, and looks outside her window, the night dark and the sky full of stars. Kylo stretches his arms and legs fully, issuing a guttural moan as his limbs fully extended. The data pad drops onto his chest, and he sits up and holds the datapad in his hand. The information is useful, but not what he is looking for so he will need to move to the next one.

He sits up and looks over the other three options, blindly choosing his next reading material. As he got up to stretch some more, his eyes wandered to her and her work. As he watched her, he realized why she stated that her work would take several hours. She’s attaching the arm correctly, but was doing it in the wrong steps.

He openly observed her now, and even though Rey wasn’t even facing him, knew she had an audience. She didn’t look up.

“Spit it out.” she says, very focused on the arm and the wiring poured out of it.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to micromanage you.” He’s sitting upright now, leaning against the couch, his hair messy.

Rey spins around her chair facing him. “Will it go faster? The repair time?” 

Kylo nods and purses his lips slightly.

Rey scoffs and rolls her eyes, and nods her head to the side, gesturing for him to come over. 

With an eager grin he stands up, clutching the datapad. While he made his way towards her, a chair appeared in the other hand, rolling behind him.

As he approached, he became a vision to feast on, and her mouth opened slightly in wonder. His hair is in total disarray, and his clothing wrinkled as well. A fantasy popped in her mind suddenly, him looking disheveled, with that lopsided grin, and his arms wrapped around her in their bed.  _ Their bed _ . She clears her mind. She had never been so thankful for Qui-Gon.

“Could we switch seats?” he questioned with an almost jubilant look on his face. “You move your seat here, and I'll put my seat there, if that works for you.” 

First she gets a grin out of him, and now he seems joyful.

Their bond is teeming with an energy that they both can feel, swirling around them, pushing them closer together. 

_ I want to see you smile.  _ Rey thinks, as she watches him come closer. 

“Rey? Did you want to move?” Kylo doesn't want to interrupt her train of thought, she is looking at him strangely, but he gets self conscious from her stare. He decided to prod her a bit.

For the second time that night, and probably her life, Rey jumps out of her skin.

“Sorry! I’ll move my hair right now.” she exclaims quickly, bolting up and moving it out of the way so he can place his seat in its place. He nods and sits down, facing the droid’s arm with Rey putting her chair close but not too close to him. She knows he can’t hear her, but she feels as if her body might betray her so she keeps a professional distance.

“Bring that  _ hair  _ of yours closer Rey, I want you to see what I’m doing.” He looks at her with a deadpan expression, and then gives her the tiniest wink, only moving his eye.

Horrified doesn’t begin to describe the feeling that washes over her. Her eyes and mouth open wide and her hand splays over her mouth as she drags her chair closer to him. 

He turns his head towards the droid, and once again presents that lopsided smirk, but says nothing. He still hasn’t fixed his hair. With that goofy grin, he focuses on Rey’s handiwork and begins to speak. 

“What do you know about LOM droids?”

“Not much, this is the first one I’ve ever seen or dealt with.”

“This isn’t a Cybot Galactica protocol, but an Industrial Automaton droid. You probably haven’t seen them because Cybot sued Industrial for copyright violation.”

“Are you serious?”

“Very. There were a lot of issues with these droids, so they didn’t manufacture that many. The ones that are still active are most likely in the Outer Rim territories, they tend to be bodyguards, bounty hunters, an enforcer for overlords, and my personal favorite- the occasional nightclub bouncer. They have an awful glitch which also didn’t help with the popularity. They’re great with languages and translations, and he will definitely guard your quarters.”

“What's the glitch?”

“Their personality software easily gets corrupted. A smart enough droid can override the reboot and become a very lethal weapon.” Kylo sighs. “You’re taking a lot longer than usual to assemble this because you’re looking at this droid with Cybot schematics, but this is an entirely different company which means,”

“Different steps and efficiencies for assembly.” Rey finishes his sentence.

“Yes. So what you want to do is attach these three main joints, here, here, and here first next time.” Kylo quickly snaps them into place. “Where’s your droid tool kit? I need the power calibrator. This will only take a moment.” 

Rey hands him the power calibrator and he quickly finishes up the arm. His shoulder is open, making it easy for her to see and learn the proper steps to attaching this part, and any other part on the machine. He is giving her a crash course on LOM droids, and she absorbs every detail like a sponge.

Rey is listening to him right now, but the dark side discreetly crawls through her ear and into her mind, whispering to her in a language that is oddly familiar and wanting. As Kylo lectures about the schematics and layout of the droid, she unintentionally tunes him out and she realizes, in her hands she is holding his datapad. She wonders what he has been intently reading. She tries to blink out of this mindset, and she further pushes herself to focus on his voice, concentrate on his lesson, and not be distracted by her unyielding curiosity and desire to find out what he has been reading the past couple of hours.

She can hear him, but she can’t make out the words, her nosiness overwhelming her, and she slowly, very slowly, looks down at the datapad and she sees on the cover “Galactic Empire Archives, Classified Information.” She looks further down but barely manages to read the smaller writing “World Between Worlds,” when Kylo snatches it from her hands.

“Were you even listening?” The joy in his face is erased, replaced with a stoic mask. It’s his turn to lower his wall, and he shares his emotions, simmering anger and betrayal, which unlike hers from earlier, are completely justified.

“I, I am sorry, I just, I felt the need-”

“To betray my trust and hurt my feelings.” He now finishes her sentence. “I told you that this research is for a personal matter. I could justify your behavior if the information were connected to the First Order, but this Rey,” he waves the datapad in her face “is the equivalent of attempting to read my diary.”

“I didn’t mean to betray or hurt-” Rey tries to apologize but Kylo cuts her off again.

“Is this some sort of bizarre ritual on Jakku? Hurt those who help?” 

Before Rey could answer, he stands up, and his chair disappears from sight and he walks around her. 

“Sever the bond Rey.” 

His walls now are up, and she realizes she made a huge mistake.

“Ben, I am really sorry. I messed up. I should not have done that. I just wanted to find out what you were reading.” 

“Sever the bond.”

Rey drops her wall now, sharing her regret, her curiosity from earlier in the evening on the intimacy of their interaction, and how terrified she is at this moment, of losing him. The fantasy though, she keeps to herself.

He freezes mid step, pauses for a moment, and turns only his upper body around to look at her. “I understand you were curious about what I was reading, and that you regret your decision. I hope the next time you are  _ tempted _ , you will do what is culturally acceptable.”

Rey is standing now, her one knee on the chair, her hand on the back of the seat. She nods, her walls are still down. She looks at him and asks, mentally, in hopes he will hear. 

_ What do I do next time? Assuming there is? _

If Kylo is surprised, he doesn’t show it.

_ Just ask. I would have shared.  _

His tone is firm, but sincere. 

Rey nods, and exhales in relief.

Kylo looks at her, cocking his head to the side slightly now and says

_ Mhi me’dinui. _

Rey also bids him a soft, barely audible  _ good night _ , and severs the bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SLOW BURN.  
> JEEZ, Rey is totally messing things up. Doesn't she know he is but a delicate flower, and she is the harsh desert sun?  
> [LOM Droid](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/2/25/4-LOM.jpg/revision/latest/top-crop/width/360/height/450?cb=20080307185425)  
> [Hallikset](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Seven-string_hallikset)  
> [Rey's Carbon Chisel](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Carbon_chisel)  
> [LOM Schematics](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/c/c8/LOM_egtd.png/revision/latest?cb=20071205035536)  
> 


	8. Where they speak no word of truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: lyrics from [Holiday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-xD_wSSJ8U) by Weezer. 
> 
> Finn and Rey Hang. 
> 
> Shout out to my beta [Semp1ternal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semp1ternal/pseuds/Semp1ternal). 
> 
> Big thank you to [CGarcia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgarcia/pseuds/cgarcia), who helped me through this chapter by (as always) being honest.

**Four Months Ago**

Chewy lowers the Falcon over a farmed field near the edge of Quarrow, the capital city of the planet Nakadia. Farm hands wave and greet the ship, while others help guide the ship to the overhang as equipment is driven out. The Falcon easily slid into the barn, and a collapsible wall was quickly raised by the staff, hiding it from view. 

Though the planet did not resist the First Order when it appeared in their airspace, they were definitely allies to the New Republic and The Resistance. Known for its agriculture, it provided food for the troops before the New Republic fell, it’s still considered the breadbasket of the galaxy due to the very fertile land. It's a planet with a much smaller population than the rest of the galaxy, with their capital having a few thousand inhabitants. 

They arrived a day early, and they discussed eating at Izzik’s, one of the handful of restaurants located in the town. Chewy stayed back to manage the loading of supplies and equipment, fully utilizing the secret compartments to store everything safely. He waved off Rey and Finn, and they both took deep breaths, taking in the harvest’s scent. They strolled into town and the locals tried to sell them grains and other locally harvested fruits and vegetables grown on the planet. 

As they ate their lunch, they chatted about their daily lives, and avoided anything about the First Order and the Resistance, focusing on their relationships and the daily drama that comes with living on base. They needed a break from the constant discussions of strategy, spywork, and missions.

The conversation got Finn talking about his relationship with Rose, and how he was saving up to buy a ring.

“I would propose to her tomorrow, but she deserves something special, I want to get her the right ring and do something romantic so she knows how much she means to me.” Finn sighs, and shakes his head. “I can’t wait for it all to be over so we can start our lives. Her family has been through so much, I don’t even know where my family is, and of course there is that part of me that’s afraid.”

“What are you afraid of? The commitment?” Rey asks.

“No. Spending the rest of my life with her is what keeps me going. I know that one day we will be settled with a family, and that’s what drives me to end this war. We will never be happy with them over our heads.” 

He looks up from his meal and looks directly at her. 

“I’m afraid something bad will happen, and I will never have the chance to give her the ring, or I do propose, and still something bad happens anyway.” 

Something changes in his eyes, and the fear he is talking about melts away, to something heartfelt. Rey senses his happiness through the force, bringing her joy. 

“Before going to the wedding, I wanted to know more about Haysian’s - the cultural do’s and don’ts. I wanted her family to like me, and Rose’s culture is such a big part of who she is, so I researched Haysian traditions. One of the most common customs is receiving permission from the parents before proposing.” 

Finn’s eyes are still on Rey, but now they’re just a bit wet. 

“So while she helped the bride get ready, I asked for their approval. They cried and hugged me, telling me they finally had a son, and that I was their family. It was one of my happiest moments, getting their permission, and hearing that declaration. I try not to live in fear, just hope for the next day, knowing I made them a promise that I have to keep.” 

Rey nods her head and continues eating her food. “I know we will get through all this, and I know I will be at your wedding. It’s going to be beautiful. I feel it, right here.” She touches her heart when she says the last words and smiles at him. It was something she felt, not from the force, but an instinct inside that assured her their ending would be happy. 

Finn nods, and grins at her earnestly. “How are things with you and Poe?” 

“Good. We get along great, I think he wants the relationship to progress a bit faster than I do, but I enjoy spending time with him.” She smiles at him, licking her fingers clean. She reaches for another piece of bread. “It’s hard finding that comfort with him, learning how to make things fall naturally, how you and Rose are.” She doesn’t look up when saying this, somewhat occupied with the food in her hands and on her plate.

“We didn’t learn how to do that, Rey.” Finn responds, “It just was, or I should say, always has been. When we first met, how we interacted, even when we went to Canto Bight, it felt right. We are so drawn to each other, and it just fell into place. She felt it too. On Crait I was willing to risk everything for everyone to survive - and she was a major factor, and she was willing to save my life because of that feeling as well.” 

He pauses for a moment, thoughtful. 

“The person you’re supposed to be with, and I am not saying it's not Poe, or even that it is, but it will feel natural to you, like breathing. They’re your other half. You’ll be willing to do anything for them, even dying so they could live. You’ll know it, right here. ” Finn is now the one touching his heart earnestly, with a soft, knowing smile.

Rey nods, exhaling a bit, and realizes she was holding her breath.

“Your relationship with Poe is fresh, and I know you’re just as new with all of this as I am, and believe me when I say I know it's scary. You two will get to the right place. He cares a lot about you and you care about him, and that is the most important part.” Finn takes a drink and washes down the last part of his meal, and he could sense something was off about. “Rey? Tell me, what's on your mind.” 

She was looking off to the side now, and though she’s eating at the restaurant with Finn, Rey is somewhere else.

“Rey?” Finn says louder, but still gentle.

“Sorry, I am here, something popped into my head. You’re right- Poe cares about me, and I care about him.” Rey smiles at him, polishes off her drink, and changes the subject. “Have you thought about what I said?”

“The Resistance needs me for my intel and my knowledge of the First Order. I know you want to start a Jedi temple,” Finn smirks “but right now they need me on that frontline- not this one. If I start working with you it distracts me from working with the General, and it takes away from your training. No one wins. The day after this is over, we pop open those books, and you can train me, I am absolutely ready to become the next Luke Skywalker.” 

The locals eating around them looked at their table as they hooted in laughter.

+

As Rey and Finn walked back towards the Millennium Falcon, Rey padded her feet on the fibercrete, feeling the material. It was an odd place, as she grew up around speeders and droids, yet there weren’t any in town. 

“It’s bizarre don’t you think? No speeders, no droids?” she comments to Finn as they wandered about the quaint town. Jakku was a rough desert, and even though the Niima Outpost was a junkyard settlement, it was loud and boisterous, with travelers visiting constantly. The settlers, smugglers, space pirates, and travelers that were always landing and taking off seemed to always add an energy to the outpost that she still hasn’t found anywhere else she has been so far. This capital is totally opposite, sleepy, with an old world feel. It’s almost like going back in time, or to another era, before technology even existed.

“Just another group of racist idiots. The clone wars were ages ago, and to still not trust or allow droids on the planet is pathetic.” Finn shakes his head, “To go to the extent to develop roads that droids can’t walk on is over the top.”

Rey nods in agreement. On Jakku, the only racism and discrimination she would see were from the passerby travelers. Out there, everyone was your enemy. You didn’t discriminate, you just assume the worst in everyone no matter who or what they were.

Suddenly, she senses something in the force and it tugs at Rey in the distance. She shields her eyes and yanks her body in that direction. Putting her hand over her forehand, she shades her eyes from the sun, and looks towards the woodland in the distance.

“I know that look, where are we going now?” Finn scans the area she's looking at, trying to see what she sees. 

Rey shakes her head back and forth, “Not us, just me Finn. See that forest over there? I hear it calling me, but it's making it clear- me alone. Let's get to the Falcon. I need to grab some supplies before I head out.”

Finn nodded in understanding. “No problem, but where is this forest? I don’t see one.”

Rey grabbed Finn and squared his shoulders so his body was facing the woods, and pointed her finger in that direction. “I still don’t see it.” he responds, “I might be sensitive, but I only see fields of vegetables and grassy hills.” 

They picked up their pace to head back to the ship. At the Falcon she holstered a blaster, grabbed her quarterstaff and knapsack. In it she packed water, snacks, her night goggles, and her grappling belt just in case. On her way out she passed a glowrod hanging on the wall by the ramp. Instinctually, she grabs it. 

Rey looks at Finn and Chewy, “I will try to make it back tonight, but I might be gone until tomorrow. I have comms with me so you can reach out at any point. If anything happens, you can always leave me, and come back.”

“We are never leaving you.” Finn firmly responds, and pulls her in for a hug. "Be safe, be smart, and may the force be with you."

+

Rey heads toward the small forest nestled between two fields. As she strolls through the terrain she takes in the smell of the plowed fields and earth. The dirt is a beautiful mix of dark brown, deep red, and clay, all mixed into one. She sees the field workers tending the farmland, tending the irrigation and inspecting the fruits of their labor. She watches the massive apparatus pick the vegetables easily, tossing them into the machine’s hold. The noise is loud as it grinds through the field and they are all wearing protection over their ears. The machine is thorough, not missing any vegetables (or fruit? she thinks), and notices the farmhands inspecting the irrigation system. She had never seen anything like this - the machinery, the tended crops, the farmers, but most of all, the smell. It’s another new sight to take in, and a new smell to breathe in, and she basks in the warmth of the sun.

As she walks, the urge gets louder and force pulls her there like a magnet, daring her to come closer. By now, her boots are muddy and splashes of dirt are sprayed on her legs from walking on the road, a variety of hues splattered on her legs. She has long passed the farmers and their machines, and is much closer to the green hills that touch the edge of the valley. She arrives, and looks up, the trees mysterious with lush green foliage, capping the tall trunks with massive roots. 

She comms Chewy and Finn. “I’m here, and about to go into the forest, I will see you both soon.” Her comms system makes a bunch of odd noises, and then seemingly dies, which is bizarre because the radius on this goes to space. She tries two more times, but nothing happens. She stuffs her device into her bag, and steps into the forest.

The grove is dense, thick, and cool when she arrives. As she walks into the foliage she takes a deep breath and realizes it smells different here under the trees than the fields outside, instead of smelling the earth, she could smell the trees. Through the force she could feel the trees as well. They were much older, ancient really, and highly connected to the force. She turns back and sees the cultivated lands but something feels different. Though she is several feet away she feels as if she has traveled to another planet or plane of existence. The urge tugs at her more, _you’re almost there._ She turns away from the fields and continues on her journey.

She dives deeper into the forest, realizing that it is absolutely silent. It puts her on guard, and she readies her quarterstaff in preparation for the unknown. As she continues, the forest starts to thin. Through the thicket she sees a small clearing, an open field with short grass and a handful of fallen trees. Past it, is a stone structure. It was odd as it’s pillars clearly passed the treetops, and the property engulfed the forest, but she couldn’t see it from the outside. She heads closer and stays keenly aware of her surroundings. 

As she approached the building she saw on one side a set of round boulders stacked high neatly upon each other, the largest being on bottom working its way to the smallest being on top. A second stack is on the opposite side, these stones were stacked from smallest on the bottom to a massive boulder balanced perfectly on top. The stone wall had vines growing over it, and at the entrance where a door would be is missing. Rey stepped through the entry, into the courtyard.

_A Jedi temple._ She muses, but cannot see an entrance or way to get in. It’s square shaped, with five pillars reaching the sky, four at each corner, and a much larger one in the middle. The building seemed as if it was carved from one large stone. She’s now taking in the silence and peace, observing everything, wondering how old it is. She pauses with that thought, realizing how the Jedi have existed for over a thousand generations, and how at some point this temple was full of padawans, knights, and Jedi masters alike. She longed for that era and that companionship with other force sensitives.

She explores the property, trying to find the opening. Not finding any indication of an entrance, she tried to climb the structure looking for another way in but wasn’t able to get very high as the stone was so smooth she couldn’t grasp on the walls, and didn’t want to use her grappling tools and damage the building. She floated up, exploring the pillars and structure from above.

_Everything is sealed off._ She thinks, and sighs in frustration. She takes a step back, and considers her lessons, suddenly remembering Qui-Gon’s advice.

_Your focus determines your reality._

Rey sits in front of the temple and begins to meditate, focusing and clearing her mind. She opens her eyes and though the building is still closed, it is now humming, groaning slightly as if it's waking up, receptive to her meditation. She exhales and falls deeper in meditation, focusing more than she ever has before. She hears a soft voice from a very tall man behind her. 

“Hello Rey.”

She smiles as she turns her head, eager to see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elusive Jedi Temple, Tall man, who do you think it is? 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and as always thank you for your kudos and commentary- it means so much to hear what you have to say :) 
> 
> Next week gets.....interesting.


	9. Hear Me, Know Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the others, but there is more coming soon I promise. 
> 
> Rey visits a Jedi temple...
> 
> Chapter title: lyrics from [Undone](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHQqqM5sr7g) by Weezer. 
> 
> Thank you to my beta, [TheAberrantWriterGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaberrantwritergirl). If you aren't already, you should read her stuff. 
> 
> Big thank you to [CGarcia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgarcia/pseuds/cgarcia)! You are awesome.

Rey stands, dusts herself off, and returns the warm smile the Jedi gives her. She gestures toward the temple. “Can you tell me how old it is and which facilities it has? I would love to see the archives, and the meditation gardens. Do you know if it has a holo training room? Leia told me that the main Coruscant temple had a lightsaber crafting chamber. Maybe I can see if I can find spare tools or parts to figure something out.”

He opens his mouth to answer her questions, but before he says anything, Rey turns and looks at the building with awe and says, “This temple is incredible.”

Anakin’s smile grows even larger. “Incredible? Oh little binary, you haven’t seen anything yet.” 

She rolls her eyes at her nickname, but he ignores her. 

He peers over at the temple. “I see you haven’t been able to get it open.”

Rey shook her head in mild frustration, pursing her lips slightly. “I saw no entrance when I arrived, so I scaled the temple walls to explore it a bit further. Back on Jakku when I couldn’t find an easy way to get in, I would just explore the wreckage until I located an opening. I was hoping to find a window of some sort, but since it's sealed shut, I chose to meditate.” 

“Rey,” he says with a chuckle. “We do not break into Jedi temples. Did you listen to the structure? Did you use the Force to get it to open? This temple makes itself known to those who are not only ready to see it but will do it no harm. It only opens its doors to those worthy of entrance, but you need to knock first.”

“How do I knock?” 

Anakin raised a slightly scarred eyebrow in her direction.

“Go to the door, knock.” 

As he says this he balls his clear blue hand into a fist making a knocking gesture. She’s confused now, and he looks at her with a deadpan expression on his face. _There is no door to knock on,_ she thinks to herself. 

The stone structure is closed shut, impenetrable. She meets Anakin’s eyes again. He laughs.

“I am not being literal about this; I am talking about the force.”

Rey turns to him, narrowing her eyes slightly. “I know.” She walks toward the temple, Anakin laughing behind her. She glares at him as she continues to their destination. His brown locks of hair blow in the wind. Rey sees the similar features that Luke and his father shared. The hair color, wide eyes, and skin tone. _Leia probably looks like her mother._ She reflects on the two siblings who look nothing alike and wonders about Anakin’s wife, Padme.

As they head to the temple, Anakin continues his lesson.

“Using the Force should be second nature by now, like breathing. You think about using it, you try to will it, and you have to let that go. Some wielders need to concentrate, focus, and channel, but your connection to the Force is wide open, which is why I believe you were able to find this nexus. Stop focusing on using it and make it part of who you are, like breathing or blinking. You don’t will your heart to beat—your heart just beats.”

Rey nods, confused.“I don’t quite understand what you mean by focusing on using it and just using it. Isn’t that the same thing?” 

“It’s not the same thing at all. Remember Master Qui Gon’s advice? Follow your instincts. It was the first lesson he ever gave me, and it helped me win my freedom. You have to let go of focusing on _using_ the Force, and instead, _be_ the Force. Use it the way you move your arm or lift your leg to walk. You don’t think left, right, left, right, left, when walking— you walk, like right now. The Force can be a trickle, a stream, a river, a flood for anyone who can sense it. Think of yourself as a door. The wider you open the door, the easier the Force flows through you. Your door, Rey, is wide open. You need to channel the flood to go through it.”

Rey doubts herself, her upbringing, her lack of training, and even her own instincts. Anakin senses what his apprentice is feeling. “Never forget that I too was trapped in a desert as a slave with no future and no hope. You are not there anymore, Rey. This is your path.”

As they reach the temple Rey realizes Anakin’s demeanor has changed slightly. The smile on his face softens, and she can see the sadness in his eyes.

“This location was a second home to me. I spent so much time here learning about becoming a Jedi and about myself. I was lucky enough to train other padawans including my apprentice, Ahsoka, on these grounds.” Anakin sighs and waves to the building. “This is an important temple, and even though I knew the coordinates and the exact location, I could not find it when I had fallen to the dark side. Thankfully, I could not raid the relics inside and wasn’t able to destroy it either. This is the first time I have seen or felt it in...many years.” 

She looks up at the structure, knowing its power and knowing there is so much more inside than she can sense or see. 

“Rey, it's time to knock.”

She approaches the wall and puts her hand on the stone, opening herself up to the temple.

“Ask how to open it’s gates, channel your flood through the door and talk to this structure.”

She closes her eyes and focuses, making her request to the temple, feeling the warmth of the stone on her hands. After a brief moment, her eyes open wide.

“We are supposed to open and enter together, as Master and Apprentice.” 

Anakin smiles. “Sounds good, little binary.” He moves back, far from the temple, and Rey follows and stands next to him. They both shut their eyes and meditate, putting their palms out to the structure and tuning themselves to the Force. With a rumble, the temple starts to grow in height and width. The structure triples in size, expanding upward and out, the towers now much higher than the hillside behind it, and the trees surrounding the property are dwarfed in comparison to the full size of the building. Rey turns around and observes the entire campus now. The clearing behind them is still there, and though the temple grew in size, the proportional space of everything around them didn’t.

When the temple grows in width, so do the stone walls. The vines fall away, and the missing doors at the gate appear seemingly out of nowhere and swing wide open, welcoming their guests. As a delicate breeze hits Rey, she turns and watches the stack of boulders that have fallen over float up and right themselves as well. The rumbling sounds stop, and in front of them, carved into the structure, is a massive door in a triangular shape with lines, curves, and geometric designs all around the border.

Rey stands in front of the temple in awe, taking in the moment. This is the first true temple she has experienced; Ahch-To was lovely but not the same. She lifts her head up to the sky, looking at the pillars as they stretch toward the heavens.

“Are you ready to step inside?”

When they walk in, the front door slowly shuts behind them, and natural light from the skylights above fill the foyer. 

It's quiet, cool, and musty.

She recognizes the skeletons of several Jedi—a human, a togruta, and an Iktotchi in their traditional robes leaning against the walls throughout the room in a meditative position. She senses that they were each waiting for someone to return, not guarding the temple. _Why?_ As she walks further inside, she sees several open doors, each leading in different directions, with dark corridors calling to her in their own unique way pulling her deeper into the entrance hall.

“Rey, this is a test. A real challenge to see if you are ready.”

“Ready for what?” She’s not looking at him when she asks this—she's clutching her staff and peering into one of the doors trying to look through the corridor.

“To determine if you truly are meant to be a Jedi or not.”

She freezes.

“I thought I was being trained already?” 

She frowns and turns to look at him, finally taking her eyes off the room. She considers her training sessions with Master Qui Gon and her lessons from Anakin, worried that she isn’t worthy or doing well enough.

“Ah little binary, you have the potential to become a Jedi and a great one at that, but there are barriers that are preventing you from moving forward. You lack discipline, focus. You break the rules, but most of all, you’re susceptible to the dark side.”

He pauses. “Just like me.”

“I’m not used to all of this. I wasn’t raised with rules and discipline, formal training or even manners for that matter. I only learned how to survive. People are putting all this trust in me, believing that I am someone or something I am not.”

She thinks of Ben at this moment, and how he once told her the burdens of his name, the expectations people had of him, and how both Snoke and Luke, the light and dark side of the Force, equally viewed him as a legacy instead of a person. A pawn. 

“I know exactly how you feel. I was just a young boy when I heard whispers of me being the Chosen One. I was considered an actual vergence, like this temple. During the Clone Wars I felt the pressure from everyone to excel and be the perfect Jedi, defeat the Sith, and bring balance to the force. Instead I brought darkness, and only my son brought me back to the light to help fulfill the prophecy.”

He gives a mirthless laugh. “My son then tried to kill my grandchild.”

This observation is a punch to the stomach. 

“I- I can’t imagine.” Rey sees that the pressure she has recently been dealing with is nothing compared to the Skywalker family line and all the challenges that the three generations have faced throughout the years. 

“Which way do we go for my test?”

“You have to pick the path, Rey. You have to sense the direction you want to go, and it will take you there. You will have to face your biggest fears, and you must overcome them. I will be honest with you, there is no guarantee of success.”

“You aren’t joining me?” 

“I’ll be here, waiting for your return.” She suddenly realizes that the bodies she sees are masters whose apprentices never made it back. 

“What if I fail?”

Anakin grins, “Well, it's a good thing I’m dead. Besides, this foyer is as good a place as any to spend eternity.”

“You trust me enough to come back?”

“You trust me enough to train you. There really is no difference. You put your life in my hands, and now I put mine in yours. Remember, face and overcome your fears—don’t make my mistake.”

Rey takes in the room one more time and wonders if this is the last time she will see this place and her master. Anakin is silent now, watching her choose her path. She steps near each doorway, the first two on the left, moving across to the other three on the right. They’re tempting. She reaches the door in the middle, and as she approaches, she knows immediately this is the direction she needs to go. 

She walks through the doorway, and as she passes through it, slowly begins to seal. Rey watches a stone rising from the bottom and the two corners from the top lower down, causing the three pieces to meet in the middle, the angles developing a triangle as they shut. 

“What am I looking for?!” Rey shouts.

Anakin is now sitting in a meditative position in front of the door and calmly replies—

“Nothing, and everything.”

“That doesn’t help!”

“I know.” 

The last thing Rey sees before it shuts with a thud is Anakin’s smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently joined an amazing discord community for Reylo writers. It's a positive group of engaging people who want to learn and help each other out. Its called [Reylo Creatives.](https://discord.gg/HUxhdWH)
> 
> Reader, I want you to join me. We could bring a new order together and rule the galaxy. 
> 
> I know you want to take my hand. Hehehehehe hope to see you in the community! 
> 
> [Binary.](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/binary?s=t)
> 
> This chapter is somewhat different than the rest as I found inspiration in other parts of Star Wars. I found inspiration for parts of Anakin's lesson from The Rise Of Kylo Ren comics. They're good. Also, this chapter was inspired by an episode of Star Wars Rebels, its a cute cartoon to watch with little ones or when you're doing laundry and want to unwind. What? Lots of people watch kids cartoons. :))))))


	10. Thanks for all you've shown us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey makes her way through the Jedi temple to find out if she's on the right path.
> 
> I actually won a twitter contest by the incredibly talented [Persimonne. ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/persimonne/pseuds/persimonne)
> 
> She gifted me this art, back from chapter 3. I LOVE IT. Follow her twitter [HERE. ](https://twitter.com/persimonne666) Also, her [Tumblr ](https://persimonne.tumblr.com/) for more amazing pieces. Such raw, untamed power. Thank you again, Persimonne.
> 
> Chapter title: lyrics from [My Name is Jonas](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoAnLHSLHGQ) by Weezer.

Rey turns from the sealed door and walks down the pitch black stone corridor. She pulls the glowrod out of her bag, using the Force to float it next to her, the dark path now considerably lit. With her hands ready on her staff, she walks further down the hallway, waiting for what comes next. 

It gets cooler as she goes deeper. The gray walls are silent and bare. There’s a sharp turn and the hall opens to a foyer that leads to a much larger building. Rey enters the room and the door behind her slowly closes, eliminating the option for return. The skylights above flood the room with sunlight, and she waves the glowrod into her bag, further stepping inside, noticing that the room leads to what appears to be a large communal area. 

The vestibule is incredible; the three walls display countless holocrons and Jedi artifacts. They’re safely behind their glass tombs, and Rey realizes she has never seen a vault like this before. Even though the treasures are on display, she senses that there is no way she can access the holocrons; yet she happily accepts being able to walk right up to the glass, pressing her nose against it, trying to see more inside.

“Hello, apprentice, and welcome to the archives of this temple. You are seeking knowledge, are you not?”

Rey whirls around, surprised she didn’t sense anyone.

It's not a person, or a force ghost, but a holo standing in the middle of the room. She is much older, slightly shorter than Rey, with soft blue eyes, gray hair, a firm yet kind smile, and two sticks holding the bun in her hair together. Her robes aren’t black like Anakin’s or neutral like Qui Gon’s but a matte gold color with a geometric print that goes down her torso and across the large band fitted at her waist. Her wide pants almost look like a skirt until she takes a step forward. Rey immediately notices the hilt of the lightsaber tucked within the layers of her garments.

“Yes.”

“Then you are in the right place. I am Jocasta Nu, the head archivist of the Jedi order and at the temple in Coruscant. I am a defender of Jedi information. Please note, I am an interactive Holo, so ask your question and my interface will do its best to give you a suitable answer.”

“Thank you, I am looking to become a Jedi and find out about my family.”

“My interface can only respond to one question. Please, ask it clearly.”

Rey pauses for a moment, wondering which to ask first. The memory of Kylo’s statement, _they were filthy junk traders who sold you off for drinking money,_ rings in her mind. 

“I want to learn about my family. Can you help?”

“I am sorry, apprentice. My interface cannot directly answer that question, but our system can take a sample and see if you have a match in our database. It will take time, but if any family member of yours has been a Jedi or submitted a specimen, I will be able to give you an answer.”

From the ground a rectangular tab slides open, elevating a smooth, black, flat tab. Rey instinctively knows to place her thumb on it, and it takes a blood sample.

“Thank you, apprentice. Please feel free to peruse the archives or the rest of the temple while you wait.”

“How long will it take?” she asks. Rey is now facing the glass enclosure with the countless holocrons safely shelved. She tries to calculate how many are inside, but she keeps losing count.

“Unknown. You will be summoned when the information about your heritage is available. If we are unable to find your family ties, we will be able to confirm when you were born, which planet you are most likely from, and if you have any anomalies.” 

“Thank you. I’m ready to ask my next question.” 

Rey gets no response.

She turns. The holo is gone.

She clears her throat. 

“Madam Jocasta? I have one more question to ask.”

She walks back to where she triggered the Holo, but the Jedi doesn’t appear. 

With a frustrated sigh, Rey decides to explore.

She walks past the walls of holocrons into the library. Though the base of the building is square, it rises to what she's able to count over twenty levels, narrowing as the floors go up, creating a pyramid shape as it grows in height. A massive atrium at the top brings in the natural light, illuminating the entire building. At the base of the pyramid is a triangular infinity pool surrounded by multiple personal spaces for reading, researching, and watching holos. 

Everything here is peaceful, calm, and inviting. 

Rey looks up, knowing she could spend a lifetime in this archive and still not learn everything. She wonders what each level holds and hopes she has time to see each floor. She notices the outer walkway that leads up the pyramid and tries to locate where the path starts, but something calls out to her from one of the rooms on her left.

She walks over, and the door opens. She sees rows upon rows of shelves of old books, some that look as old as the texts she has on base. The room smells like old, musty documents, and she sneezes from the dust. She wipes her nose on the collar of her shirt and dives deeper down the middle row of the expanse of bookshelves. As she explores further, she senses something calling to her and she can feel its energy through the Force. Rey suddenly feels the desire to make a quick left and look down.

Resting there is a beautiful, blue, square holocron with intricate gold designs decorating each side. Its siren call fades away as she touches it. _Why isn’t this in the vault with the others?_ she wonders, but shrugs off her curiosity of _why_ it's there and instead focuses on figuring out _how_ it works.

She stands, safely places the polyhedron in her bag, and continues her stroll. She keeps walking down the row, and when she reaches the end of the section, she finds a massive glass door leading to an open quad. 

The moment she steps outside she knows that she has found the meditation gardens. 

Rey grins. 

Unlike the temple or even the grounds surrounding the temple, this area is teeming with life. A beautiful bird with a massive beak, two sets of wings, and white feathers flies leisurely overhead gliding with the wind. She can feel the bugs and other creatures thriving and enjoying the afternoon in this utopian place. Rey has never seen a garden before, and the peace she feels is something she has never experienced.

As Rey looks up to get her bearings, she notices that she is on the left side of the temple and the sky now has darkened slightly with the setting sun. She knows now that she will most likely be spending the night in the temple and is excited to hopefully find the dormitories or a safe place to rest.

As she walks through the gardens, she notices the benches and meditative areas throughout the grounds. There are gardens filled with unique flowers in shades of red, orange, purple, white, and blue, creating a harmony of color that takes her breath away. She looks for a place to meditate and finds one directly in the middle of the garden—in between the library and a low, open amphitheater with wood stacked in the middle. It’s ready for a bonfire. The ashes are slightly warm, as if the fire was recently put out. If she doesn’t locate the dormitories, she knows that she could light it and have a warm place to sleep.

She stands and spies a cave surrounded by trees slightly shading the entrance from view. 

Something teases her and she knows that whispering call. The temptation of the dark side calling. She considers approaching, but remembers Anakin’s lessons about its magnetism and combating its seductive song. 

She focuses, centering herself. Rey inhales, exhales, and opens her eyes.

Now, as if appearing for the first time, she sees the open layout of the sparring hall directly in front of her. Eager, she quickly makes her way inside.

As she steps inside the sparring room, she sees that it is larger than expected. The garden side’s wall consists of huge sheets of glass from the ground to the top, curving toward the roof, allowing the room to bask in the light from outside. The room and its equipment are white with wood trim, and she feels how soft the mat floors are as she walks over them. Lining the walls from floor to ceiling are weapons and equipment. She takes off her backpack and puts down her staff safely in a corner.

She looks up and sees an observatory room at the top of the walls, giving a birds eye view of the practice area. She stares for a moment, as she feels as if she is being watched. She shakes the idea, knowing that she is alone here. She steps to the middle of the room and spends a few minutes trying to figure out how to activate the Holo in the room. She opens each of the doors using the Force, does somersaults in the air, and even kicks over a dummy stationed to the side, but nothing happens.

Frustrated, she uses the Force and yanks a tool she has only read about, an electrostaff from the top of the wall. As soon as it’s in her hands, she hears a woman’s dulcet voice, emanating from all around the room.

“Welcome to the Holographic Training Room. You have activated the sparring sequence for the electrostaff. What level would you like to use today?”

“What levels are available?”

“Beginner, Intermediate, and Advanced.”

“Advanced, please.”

“Please note that Advanced is only recommended for high ranking Jedi. Please confirm you wish to proceed.” 

“Yes.”

“Confirmed. Sparring sequence for the electrostaff has been initiated. Sequences will only stop when the verbal command _yield_ is issued. Best of luck.”

A holographic of a type of humanoid being Rey has never seen before appears before her. He is almost the same height as Chewy; his skin is a mix of light brown, purple, and gray. His bright green eyes stare at Rey and he is giving her a mischievous smile. His digitigrade legs are massive, and the electrostaff is held by the largest hands she has ever seen. His large ears tweak slightly, his eyes narrowing as he takes an aggressive position swinging his weapon behind and in front of him casually.

Though she is not afraid, she knows that this will be a challenge. 

The holographic smiles. “Hello, Jedi. I hope you are ready.”

Rey gives a firm nod and takes the Shii-Cho Form I stance taught to her by Anakin. Her eyes narrow slightly, and she is ready, thrilled to practice with someone that isn’t her master.

He attacks first, issuing a solid kick to easily disarm her, using his staff to sweep her legs. He pins Rey to the ground—his electrostaff at her neck. 

“Yield.”

With a nod and a laugh the holographic waits for her to get up and into her battle position.

As she stands she nods to herself, thinking that she needs to reconsider her stance. She feels more confident now, knowing this time she has a better feel for her opponent, and takes the Ataru stance. This time, Rey attacks first with a stunning leap, but with a parry and thrust, she is back on the soft mat with his weapon at her neck. 

He laughs at her. 

“You should consider lowering the level to Intermediate or Beginner. I am too advanced for you.”

She growls in frustration, but refuses to change the skill from Advanced to Intermediate.

Again and again, she loses over and over and over. Even when she does defend his attacks, he still defeats her within three maneuvers. By this point, night has fallen, and the air is cool from the open door. The room is now well lit from lights above and on the walls.

“Jedi, you have lost 32 times in a row, a new temple record. You are not yet ready. Please practice and return when you are fully prepared.”

He disappears from sight. 

“Activate,” she says, in hopes he will reappear. 

He does not. 

She looks over the wall of weapons, puts hers down, and selects a San-ni staff. 

The original Holo voice speaks again. “You have activated the sparring sequence for the San-ni staff. What level would you like to use today?”

“Advanced.”

“Request denied. You have lost too many times at that level. The system recommends starting at beginner. You will learn more with practice versus being eliminated so quickly. Sparring sessions are made so that partners learn from each other. You will learn from these holos if you use them correctly.”

“Advanced.”

“Request denied. You have lost too many times at that level. The system recommends starting at Beginner. You will learn more with practice versus being eliminated so quickly. Sparring sessions are made so that partners learn from each other. You will learn from these holos if you use them correctly.”

She exhales loudly and rolls her eyes; it's as if she is being lectured by Qui Gon all over again. She floats the San-ni back to the wall and picks up the Electrostaff, thinking about which level to begin.

Rey hears someone behind her. She leaps into the air, turning around at the peak, and as she lands, she faces them. Her mouth hangs open. 

Standing in front of her is Kylo Ren.

He turns his head slightly and politely applauds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Madam is how you would regard a female Jedi. 
> 
> Jocasta Nu is actually a badass who defended the archives to the death against Darth Vader. Don't underestimate her.[ Her character](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Jocasta_Nu) and [ her heroism.](https://comicnewbies.com/tag/jocasta-nu/)
> 
> [Holocron](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Holocron)
> 
> I imagined the archives but when I looked for more inspiration I stumbled upon  
> [The Palace of Peace and Reconciliation](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/palace-of-peace-and-reconciliation) in Astana, Kazakhstan. It's beautiful.
> 
> [Walkway.](https://format-com-cld-res.cloudinary.com/image/private/s--N2FdmPLY--/c_limit,g_center,h_65535,w_900/fl_keep_iptc.progressive,q_95/v1/8e9a3917f2cf14a359f54f48f8d6ba82/MNF_20160618_9845.jpg?900)
> 
> [The Atrium ](https://www.studioavc.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/02.jpg)
> 
> [Map of Temple in Coruscant, Holographic Training Room is real.](https://i.imgur.com/kr3bJrD.jpg)
> 
> Humanoid That Fought Against Rey:  
> [A Lasat.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lasat)
> 
> Weapon Rey Got Her Ass Kicked With. Ok fine. Just one of the weapons but still.  
> [Electrostaff.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Electrostaff)  
> [San-Ni Staff.](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/San-Ni_staff)
> 
> Thank you to my beta, [TheAberrantWriterGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaberrantwritergirl). Her AU Reylo Fic is [Nightshade & Sakura](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15196535/chapters/35244329) is a realistic piece with a lot of depth. If you're into something different - check it out.
> 
> [CGarcia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgarcia/pseuds/cgarcia) rocks my world. Thank you for your input!


	11. I can't confront you, I never could do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I felt you.”
> 
> “I know. It's why you came.”
> 
> “No. During the sparring session. It seems the temple wanted me to know your thoughts.”
> 
> Rey freezes.
> 
> “You know why it pulled us together, as it always does, as it always has, as it always will. You know the meaning behind Anakin’s nickname. You read it in the texts. What we are. It's why you don’t ask your masters for answers. You already have them.”

Rey pulls back her aggressive stance and stares. He is here, physically. Though she isn’t afraid of him, he looks intimidating in his full battle regalia. His cape flutters as he walks toward her. This is the first time she has seen him with his mask on since Starkiller, and for some reason, it looks more menacing than before, the black and silver coming together in the middle.

“How did you know I was here?” she demands. Her tone is rude, but he never seems to mind. 

“I was scouting a nearby planet; there were rumors of a possible insurrection. Through the Force I felt your presence at this location.”

“How did you get in? It can’t be found by people who would hurt the temple.”

“I have no intention of damaging this place.”

“How….long have you been watching me?” She turns her head a bit, still clutching the electrostaff.

“Long enough.”

“From where? I didn’t sense you.”

He points to the observation room above.

“You did your best. Thirty-two losses is a new record, but defeating a Lasat at Jedi level is very…difficult.” The analog tone annoys her. He seems so cold with his helmet on. She wants him to remove it, but something inside tells her not to ask.

“You think you can do better?”

Without replying he sticks his hand out, and an electrostaff flies into it.

The Holo prompt cycles the information once again.

“Advanced.” 

It again asks for confirmation on the level. 

“Proceed.”

The same lasat appears, ready for battle.

“Hello, Jedi, I hope you are ready.”

With a shove of his shoulders, Kylo’s cape falls to the ground. He takes the Shien Djem So Form V stance. And though the lasat attacks first, Kylo easily parries his overhead thrust by gracefully moving to the side and leaning back. The lasat’s strike leaves him vulnerable, and Kylo sweeps his legs, placing the Electrostaff at his throat. 

The lasat grunts a stiff, “Yield.”

Kylo’s still bent over the holographic when he turns and looks at her. Rey knows the smirk hidden behind the mask, and she’s relieved that she didn’t ask him to take it off.

Her eyes narrow. 

“That's just one round...I battled him 32 times!” She gestures toward the holographic still waiting for Kylo to lift the electrostaff. 

“Best of five?” he replies, standing up straight and getting into position once again. 

Rey struggles with the cold, robotic nature of voice but ignores it. She again considers asking him to remove the mask. He’s not quite human with it on. Part of her wants to see his face, as the bond hasn’t connected them in over a week.

The lasat takes an attack position with his left arm lifted up at his chest in a guarded manner, and his right hand holds the electrostaff above his waist pointed slightly at his opponent. He nods. 

Kylo immediately advances. With a broad stroke he connects with the lasat's ribs. Rey is surprised at the authentic sound and reaction to the holographic getting electrocuted. Though shocked by the staff, he corrects himself quickly and easily jumps over his opponent. Kylo whirls around as the lasat vaults over him, and when he lands, Kylo jabs the electrostaff into his chest with a forceful shove, electrocuting and pushing him to the ground at once. 

He swings his staff at his opponent’s throat. “Yield.” 

Was she using the wrong form this entire time? 

Kylo again turns his head and looks at her, as if reading her mind. He takes several steps back and changes his stance to Ataru. 

Rey drops the electrostaff and crosses her arms. She wants him to lose just as much as she wants him to win. 

As she watches them spar in front of her, she struggles, not from the possible outcome, but from the desire she feels inside. It’s that spark she feels when they connect, but this time, it's not a spark but more like a fire. She wants the lasat gone, and she wants to tackle Ben onto the mat, yank off his mask, and pull off his sweater to—

It’s a wild thought, and she catches herself. She’s stopped breathing.

She wonders if it's watching him fight or if it has something to do with the temple. Maybe it’s a combination of all this—along with the way he nonchalantly tossed off his cape. Out of nowhere, she thought about Finn telling her earlier that day at lunch ... _it felt right. We are so drawn to each other, and it just fell into place._ She frowns and shuts off her feelings, focusing on the battle. 

As they duel and dance across the room, she realizes he could easily defeat the holographic. With a massive thrust from Kylo, the lasat grunts, shocked again. This time, Kylo jerks back the staff, and quickly strikes him three more times with his weapon. The holographic has no time to react as he is lifted into the air by a gloved hand and tossed to the ground in front of Rey. She freezes and looks down at the head resting at her feet. Suddenly, Kylo stands in front of her. He swings the weapon once again at his opponent’s throat, inches away from shocking him. The crackle rings in her ears. 

“Yield.” Kylo twirls his staff up and away.

“Excellent work, Jedi. You are very well trained.”

The lasat rolls over and stands up. Right after they exchange bows, he disappears. Kylo stretches out his empty hand and his cape flutters to it. He seamlessly attaches it to his shoulders, completing his outfit once more.

Kylo turns and faces Rey. She feels his stare through the mask and matches it. He seems distant, cold, and for the first time in months, dark. It emanates from him, and though his walls are up, he’s brimming with it. She isn’t sure what to say, so she keeps silent, waiting for him to speak first. 

“Rey. You know why I’m here. You know why this temple called me. Why it pulled us together. You feel it.” 

“Don’t you think it’s time you removed that mask?” she replies coolly. 

“Not yet.” 

Rey rolls her eyes at him, her arms still crossed and her electrostaff still at her feet. 

“I’m waiting for an answer from the temple. Can we do this later?” He usually agrees to her requests, and she wonders why he refused. She inches closer to the electrostaff but makes it look like she’s coming closer to him, dropping her hands to the side. She feels his darkness even more, and wonders if his victory was because he channeled the dark side and not the light. Was it the mask, the sparring session, or what now seemed to be her biggest fear—what if this is how he is in real life versus in the bond?

“I felt you.”

“I know. It's why you came.”

“No. During the sparring session. It seems the temple wanted me to know your thoughts.”

Rey freezes.

“You know why it pulled us together, as it always does, as it always has, as it always will. You know the meaning behind Anakin’s nickname. You read it in the texts. What we are. It's why you don’t ask your masters for answers. You already have them.” 

He stretches out his hand, just like in the throne room. 

A chill runs down her spine. 

The last time he made this offer, she was tempted. She wanted to take his hand, but she didn’t; she knew in her heart it wasn’t the right person asking. This time, the urge is like a wave crashing over her, dragging her under the water, but she isn’t sure which is the life preserver—his outreached hand or the electrostaff at her feet. The lines blur; both seem equally right and equally wrong. 

Time is running out.

“Join me, Rey. Let’s stop this war.”

“Take off your helmet,” she whispers. “Please.” 

The irony is not lost to her that she is the one pleading this time.

Kylo doesn’t move. 

A hot tear rolls down her cheek, and she shakes her head at him slightly. She blinks, wiping it off with her sleeve, exhaling deeply, the hole in her heart growing larger, knowing there is no way they could recover from this and hating herself for hurting him again.

His hand curls up into a fist and drops to his side.

“I can’t,” she whispers. “I want you to know that I...”

“Apprentice,” Jocasta Nu’s voice rings out throughout the temple. “We have the results for your test on your lineage. It seems we have found a match. Please, come to the Archives for your holocron.”

“I have to go.” 

Before she can move, Kylo steps to the side, blocking the exit, his cape fluttering from the breeze coming in from the wide open door. 

Rey is barely keeping it together, unable to make eye contact with him. “Ben, I need you to move. I have to go.” 

Kylo refuses to step aside, no matter which way she tries to go around him.

“Don’t you have a planet to raze?” She bristles as he stands before her.

She tries to shove him away, only able to make him take a few steps back. He straightens himself, and the electrostaff in his hand goes flying back to its location on the wall.

His hand stays open, and her backpack comes flying into it. He looks like he is about to hand it to her, but as she steps toward him to take it, he flings it away, its contents scattering throughout the room.

Rey loses it, swearing at him in every language she knows as she walks over and shoves everything back inside her bag. She double checks for the holocron—the most important item—and confirms it’s safely tucked inside.

He leans against the door frame that leads to the brightly-lit meditation garden, watching her. As she gathers her items, he turns away and walks outside. Through the massive windows his cape flies in the air, and he quickly disappears from sight.

Once she tosses her last food portion in her bag and attaches her staff onto her backpack, she reaches out for the electrostaff, and as it flies into her hand, she marches out the door, intent on finding him. She can smell the smoke from the bonfire and instinctively heads toward it.

As she approaches the amphitheatre, she realizes this is the biggest bonfire she has ever seen in her life. The flames reach for the sky, and the heat scorches her face. All the way in the front, Kylo is standing there, facing it with his back toward her.

“We are not done yet!” she shouts over the roar of the flames. 

Kylo spins around. “You’re right. We aren’t.”

He stretches both of his hands to the fire pit, and two huge logs completely engulfed in flames, shake and float out. He balances each of them and with a mighty toss he heaves them right through the glass door of the archives. 

The texts inside burst into flames. Rey drops to her knees and watches in horror, helpless to stop the fire as it quickly leaps from bookshelf to bookshelf.

Kylo isn’t done. He grabs two more logs; they hover above him, ashes falling. He throws them at the pyramid, shattering the glass as they crash inside. Another section farther back lights up in flames. Her answers have turned to ash. There is no way to get inside and no way to stop the fire that now engulfs the massive glass pyramid. The first floor is in flames, and parts of the second floor start to burn. 

Her tear streamed face turns from sorrow to complete rage, and with a massive scream, she stands and turns on the electrostaff, striding toward him.

In one smooth move, his hilt is in his hand, and he spins it as he turns it on, ready to face her. 

Their weapons lock. Her anger makes her sloppy, and he easily pushes her away from the bonfire, effortlessly parrying her attacks. He elegantly moves from the left to the right as she jabs and thrusts, evading her onslaught. He is calm and effective, enraging her more. With a gutteral shout, she spins and tries to sweep his legs, but he easily jumps into the air. 

Eyes full of anger, she swears and attempts to jab him with the electrostaff, missing him completely.

“You’re not thinking,” he states. “Focus, channel your passion, and you might have a chance to beat me.”

Trees surrounded them; the warmth of the bonfire is gone. He has led her toward the mouth of a hidden cave, trapped between the darkness behind her and in front. She faces him directly in a battle position; his electrostaff crackles on its ends. She waits for his next move.

Kylo turns off his lightsaber, putting the hilt back at his waist. Above, the moon drowns him in light. 

“How could you?” Her voice shakes from anger and hurt.

Kylo’s other hand reaches into his pocket, pulling out a holocron. It looks exactly like the one in her backpack, except instead of geometric lines and shapes, this one has Rey written on each side in galactic basic, the gold script dancing in the moonlight, calling to her.

“I believe this belongs to you.”

Rey’s breath hitches, and once again, he stretches out his hand. It floats just above his palm, calling to her to take it and join him.

“This will answer your question, then we can rule together.” He reaches out a little more. “I will not ask again.”

“Give me holocron. It's mine. It literally has my name on it.”

“Take my hand, and it's yours. Before I held this, you were tempted. Rule by my side as my equal; together we will be unstoppable.” 

Rey exhales slowly. _Why does he want me to join him?_ She looks like a mess, she can barely spar with the lestat, and she is broken in so many ways. 

“Imagine what it would be like.” 

An image of them in a massive room built for royalty, saturated in black and red pops into her mind. They’re sitting on their respective thrones next to each other. Her hand is stretched out slightly, tucked into his, meeting him in the middle. In front of them rows of beings bow, on their knee, submitting to their power. She looks upon her subjects, stoic, cold, and unyielding. Kylo’s body is facing forward, his one leg crossed in a figure four position, but his head is turned, facing Rey, watching her. He wears no mask, and his eyes are dark pools of passion.

_“....but most of all, you’re susceptible to the dark side.”_

Anakin’s words snap her back to reality. The blue holocron almost glows in the moonlight, hovering above his hand. Her hand is up and stretched, her fingertips about to touch his. She looks up at Kylo, and her hand falls to her side.

“I’m sorry,” she barely whispers.

If he wasn’t wearing the mask, her answer might have been different. 

He crushes the holocron in his hands.

Eyes wide in shock, Rey takes a huge step back into the cave and puts all her weight on her back leg, but there is nothing there. She falls back, into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes angst but it will be okay.....
> 
> Thanks for being patient on this update, my life got a little hectic, but my next update will be sooner than later. Comments are always appreciated, and would love your input! 
> 
> Thank you to my Alpha/Beta editor[TheAberrantWriterGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaberrantwritergirl)!
> 
> Big thank you to my beta reader [CGarcia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgarcia/pseuds/cgarcia)!


	12. And If You Watch Her Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey continues her journey at the temple, with a few surprises.
> 
> Tears pricked her eyes as she clutched herself. She would have a painful death, and Anakin would spend eternity in the foyer because of her failures.
> 
> A gravelly voice spoke, interrupting her thoughts, “Faced great temptation, you have.”
> 
> “Yes.” She hadn’t moved, her head still rested on her knees, ready for her judgement.
> 
> “For what happens next, ready are you?”
> 
> Chapter title from the Weezer song [No One Else. ](https://youtu.be/ZRGYNdxX2qU) Kind of a possessive song, but I find these lyrics solid for the chapter title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and being part of this journey! I do apologize for not having updated for some time, but the next few chapters will roll out faster, and I think the real fun will begin. I do have more insight about Kylo, and Rey on the bottom notes so please check them out as I don't want to spoil anything. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Kylo’s shadow blocked the last of the moonlight as Rey tumbled down the dark cave. Gravity seized her, pulling her into the murky unknown. She shut her eyes, bracing for impact. 

It never came.

Her eyes opened, and the darkness around her melted into a stone room. The electrostaff had vanished, and she was left with her staff and backpack. She sat up and looked around. The walls were trimmed with carvings of ancient Jedi scriptures. She wondered what the words surrounding her meant. She searched the room looking for an exit, but the room was sealed. She closed her eyes, putting her palm to the wall and tried to listen, but the wall was silent. Rey knew where the temple had sent her.

She was trapped, starving. She could only remedy one of these issues, so she sat and ate a portion, not eating too much as she wasn’t sure how long she needed her rations to last. She ate every last bite, making the meal count. After she finished, she lowered her head between her knees and shut her eyes. 

_ So far I’ve helped destroy the temple archives, couldn’t beat a holographic, argued with Ben, and didn’t get my answers about my parents.  _ Her thoughts grew darker. _ I am going to die in a Jedi prison.  _ Kylo drifted into her thoughts and she tried to shut him out, but the wild mix of anger, hurt, regret, and sadness washed over her.  _ I’m never going to see him again  _ was the main thought. She was still shocked by his actions and frustrated that he tried to tempt her to join him. She shut out his words about their relationship, and her thoughts drifted to the Resistance. She imagined her found family, Finn, Rose, Leia, and Chewy, and how she failed not only them but the galaxy as a whole.

Tears pricked her eyes as she clutched herself. She would have a painful death, and Anakin would spend eternity in the foyer because of her failures.

A gravelly voice spoke, interrupting her thoughts, “Faced great temptation, you have.”

“Yes.” She hadn’t moved, her head still rested on her knees, ready for her judgement.

“For what happens next, ready are you?”

“I am.”

“Come, my voice you must follow.”

“Who are you?”

“A guide.”

An open door appeared in front of her. She stood, and wearily walked into the next room. 

The walls were still etched with words she couldn’t translate. Three doors on each side of the walls whispered to her as the door behind her shut and disappeared. She looked up, hoping to see a spirit or the source of the voice, but the ceiling was all she could see. 

“Which door do I go through?” she asked, looking at the options. This was different from the doors in the entry, as she knew that all but one felt wrong. Here, each of these felt right, pulling her in every direction.

“The wrong question you are asking.”

Rey stood in front of each door, putting her hand out and closing her eyes. 

“I don’t understand. They’re all telling me this is the right direction.” She exhaled. “What am I even doing here?” she muttered to herself. She thought about the fire, the destroyed holocron, her failed sparring session, and Kylo almost tempting her—twice. Failure, upon failure, upon failure.

The guide chuckled slightly. “Getting somewhere you are.”

“Anakin, he said this is a test, but I am not sure for what. I know what happened earlier….everything is a mess, but I can try to fix it as best as possible. I know I failed with Madame Jocasta, but please, give me another chance.” She walked back to the middle of the room, her head up toward the roof.

“ Perfect, your master is he?”

Rey paused and thought about his life story. “Well, no. He isn’t.” She wondered what that had to do with anything. 

“Your direction, you must choose.”

Rey closed her eyes and focused. She decided her direction, and as she walked forward, the door ahead opened for her. She stepped into a room, and she gasped slightly, looking up at the ceiling. At eye level, the stone walls were clearly visible, yet as they climbed to the top, they faded into a vast unknown, well lit by the Jedi scripture that still trimmed the walls, which were glowing bright white, illuminating the room. Above the scriptures with the same bright hue were lines, circles, and geometric shapes, their paths leading up to the ceiling. They opened to a sky full of stars.

“To me, confess. A Jedi why must you become?” 

“The galaxy. It needs me,” she replied confidently.

“Before, it didn’t need you, did it?”

“To protect them from the First Order, if I am as powerful as their leader, I can help.”

“Ah, power is what you need.”

“With power, I will be able to protect those who cannot defend themselves, and even the score for what happened at Hosnian Prime.”

“The Jedi way is revenge? Learn this from your Master you did?”

“Anakin is a great Master; he is making sure I don’t go down the wrong path. He is the best I could ever wish for.” Luke suddenly came to mind, how he tried his best and still failed, knowing that no one was perfect.

“Seek revenge, why do you?”

“I don’t.” It was her most confident answer yet.

“Inside you, much anger, much fear.”

Rey nodded. “I just want to protect those I love. The Resistance, my friends, and myself.” 

“So this is why a Jedi you must become?”

“Yes, and protect others, too. Before I met the Resistance, I only cared about myself, took care of myself, but they help people. They’re willing to give up everything to help others, and I see the good in them. I see how they make people feel, how they help others without asking anything in return.”

“Feel, yes. How?”

“Hopeful. Happy. Alive. I feel these things now, too.”

“Good, that is.”

Rey’s eyes were downcast, deep in thought. She didn’t realize everything around her had faded away, leaving her with the beautiful geometric lines above. 

“Ahead, your journey is difficult, young apprentice. A Jedi you might become.”

Light enveloped her from below. She looked up, and two bright stones floated down toward her. She stretched her arms up, and as she opened her hands to receive them, she could truly see the intricate, hauntingly familiar designs above her.

She peered into her cupped hands, which were now holding two small identical yellow stones. She shifted them both into one palm and closed it tightly.

+

Rey’s eyes snapped open. Her stomach growled. She was leaning against a door that looked like one in the foyer. Her one hand was still in a fist, and she opened it slightly, confirming the stones were safe. She wondered how many days she had been gone. She stood up, and the door opened. Anakin was in front of her, in the same meditative position as she had left him. 

“I see you made it. I got a little worried we’d get stuck here,” he teased. “How do you feel?”

Rey smiled. “The same but different.” She opened her hand. “What are these?” she asked, already knowing the answer. 

Anakin grinned. “Kyber crystals. The temple thinks it's time you made your own lightsaber.”

As they stepped out, she searched for Kylo but found no sign of him or the Finalizer. 

She decided to enjoy one more meal on the temple grounds. She wasn’t sure if she would ever come back, and her renewed hunger would only be a distraction on her return. As she ate, she told Anakin of the archives, the lost holocron, what happened with her and Kylo, the being that spoke to her in prophetic sentences, and the words written on walls. She tried to write the script to show him, but what seemed clear moments ago, faded away. Anakin smiled, listening as she told her story.

“What do you think it all means?” she asked as she stuffed her face with the portion.

“You never told me you had feelings for my grandson.”

Rey’s eyes widened.

“Your experience was a test. The temple takes your biggest fears, weaknesses, insecurities, and creates circumstances that amplify them in order to seduce you. The temple dropped you in the archives to have a chat with Madame Jocasta about your parentage. It pushed you by making you lose to the Lesat, and finally, it tried to persuade you with my grandson to see if you can be tempted by your feelings for him, or your desire for the dark side. There was no holocron with your parentage, there was no training room, there was no Kylo Ren. These circumstances were all up here.” Anakin tapped his head with his finger. “You passed Rey. It took every single weakness, from your insecurities about your skills, to your desire to know who your family is, and paraded them in front of you to test you to your limits.”

Rey was speechless.

“This is your first major test, you did very well, and I’m very proud. You need to understand, being a Jedi is many things, we are not perfect. We are tested time and time again—I failed, my son failed, and at some point Rey, you too will fail. It is how we come back from there, how we redeem ourselves and make things better that matters the most. When it comes to the Force, redemption is everything.”

“I think I understand.”

“You don’t, but at some point, you will. I know you worry, little binary, but understand that this is all part of your journey.”

When Rey stood up the temple slowly folded and shrunk to a smaller size, reverting to the slightly decrepit version of when she had first arrived. With a wave, Anakin disappeared. She trudged through the forest and looked toward the sun, noticing at least a full day had passed, as she was leaving around the same time she had arrived. She tried to radio the Falcon but again couldn’t get through, so she went through the pastures and saw the massive machines and field workers still working on the same field. Rey was now close to the farm where the Falcon was stored, and she walked into the barn and up the platform, to find Finn losing a game of dejarik to Chewy. She leaned her staff against the wall and approached the table.

“Did you forget something?” Finn asked, without looking up, the board game consuming his attention. 

She wondered what Chewy would forget.

“Rey. Did you forget something?” he repeated. “You’re hovering, and I can’t focus.”

She was stunned at the question. “What do you mean by forgetting something?”

“You left, and now you’re back, so what did you forget? You’re distracting me at this point, and I almost have him.”

Chewy roared, “Bantha shit. You don’t have a chance.”

Neither one had looked up from the game.

“I’ve been gone for at least a day, if not two. If I had forgotten something, I would have come right back.”

Chewy and Finn both turned their heads and looked at Rey. Finn cleared his throat and stared at her. “Say that again?”

Rey folded her arms across her chest. “Say what again?”

Finn looked at her. “How long do you think you’ve been gone?”

Rey took off one strap of her bag, shoved her hand down, and pulled out the remaining portion. “One, if not two days. It might have been three, as I’m not sure how long I was out for.”

Finn’s expression fell flat. “Rey, you’ve been gone for less than four hours. I assumed you got to the temple, forgot something, and came back. We started this game when you left, and we haven’t finished it yet.”

Rey’s mouth opened, and then closed in shock, her hands dropping to her sides. Before she could say anything, there was a banging noise outside the barn. The recruits and supplies had arrived.

He stood up and grabbed her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Let's talk after we get this all taken care of.”

+

As Chewy and Finn checked the manifest for the food and equipment supplies, Rey did her usual check on the new recruits. A variety of beings joined them, and they were individually brought into the lounge. She gently asked questions and found out where they were from, why they were joining, and if they were devoted. Everyone was committed to the cause, except for one man who was trying to hide as there was a bounty on him—he had stolen from the Hutts and spent the money gambling. 

The last one floated in and dropped his pet’s crate outside before he entered the room. He had wings, a long snout, greenish blue skin, and webbed feet. There was a scowl on his face, unhappy to be having a conversation with Rey. 

She smiled and waved her hand in front of him gently, the way Qui Gon taught her, asking him what his intentions were.

“You must be the Jedi,” he responded in an odd accent, ignoring her prompt. “Where is Chewy? I need to speak to him.” He floated out of the room, reached down, and grabbed the case on the ground. 

“Sir, SIR!” Rey exclaimed firmly. “Please wait in the holding area, and I will get Chewy for you.” 

When she got close, she felt a jarring sensation, and with a gasp, the Force was gone. She took a step back, powerless, again a normal human.

The toydarian turned and smiled for the first time. “This is my pet ysalamir, Jungo. When you get too close, your powers are useless. My grandfather was King Katuunko, and a darksider killed him—to me you Jedi and Sith are the same. The Jedi got him killed, and you Force users are not to be trusted.” He continued walking through the Falcon, calling out to Chewy. He suddenly popped out of a room, roared a greeting, and shook his old friend's hand, explaining to Rey how he was a friend to Han and him while the Empire was in power.

When he shuffled to the back and sat with the others, Rey pulled Chewy aside and let him know about the ysalamir, and how she wasn’t able to scan him to make sure he was loyal.

“He doesn’t trust anyone who uses the Force,” Chewy replied. “A Sith assassinated his grandfather by Force choking him, and he lost his place in line to rule. His great uncle Sarabak is now king. He knows that the First Order are the Sith and negotiated with his great uncle to have us use a desolate moon in their system to transfer supplies. You need to understand, a lot of people do not trust your kind, and even more fear your abilities.”

She guarded the holding area. Guilt, sadness, and curiosity engulfed her. But these feelings weren’t Rey's. They were Kylo’s. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did lose a couple of folks after I posted the previous chapter, and I assume its from Kylo's behavior, so if you're still here after that, thank you for staying and trusting me. I want to give Rey and you, dear reader a more complex situation than Rey strolling into the kyber crystal store and buying a new lightsaber. To me, her journey and growth are so important, and part of that is slowly seeing how she feels about our boy Benny, the Resistance, and her place in all of this. 
> 
> Both of their journeys really start to pick up from here.
> 
> Like any relationship, there will be ups and downs. This fic is a slow burn and the angst - strong. There will be chapters with Poe coming soon (she does not, not ever do anything explicit with him ew gross no), and there will also be more scenes that focus on Kylo's journey. They both have growth. 
> 
> I find both characters equally important. Remember, dark rises and light to meet it. 
> 
> As always, comment with your thoughts and theories, I love to hear them.
> 
> Finally- chap count is 25 but will most likely go up, but I'll keep you in the loop if/when it does. Be safe out there.
> 
> XO,  
> AR
> 
> Beta'd by the incredible [TheAberrantWriterGirl.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaberrantwritergirl/works) She is awesome! 
> 
> [King Katuunko ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Katuunko)   
>  [Toydarians ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Toydarian)   
>  [Toydaria ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Toydaria)


	13. In Spite of Years of Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben searches Lothal for answers and makes a new friend. 
> 
> New enemies show their faces.

Kylo watched the sun as it slowly dipped into the horizon, helmet off and secure under his arm. The tall, wispy grass rippled around his thighs, his cape and hair blowing in the wind. He shut his eyes, stuck out his hand, and sensed what was left of the temple. With mediated breaths, he got his answer.

It was gone. 

He knew he was at the right place; he sensed the gaping hole in the Force and felt how something that was there, no longer was. He walked back to the tie whisper, cape billowing behind him. He traded his helmet for a data pad that stored all the information for this temple on Lothal, and replayed the main audio clip that Triple Zero recorded for him.

_ The temple was completely destroyed by rebels during the Emperor's rule in 3 BBY. The group consisted of several insurgents, Hera Syndulla, Sabine Wren, Garazeb Orrelios, a C1-10P droid, and a Jedi named Ezra Bridger. It’s the first confirmed gateway to the World Between Worlds, in which the Empire sought to have permanent control of the galaxy. The project would have been successful, but Bridger closed the gate and blew up the temple. Emperor Palpatine, may he rest in peace, was able to extract the entrance before its destruction. It was held at the Empire’s Lothal base. Bridger was captured and was brought in to unlock it. Unfortunately, he used the Force to trigger a tragic explosion, not only losing the gateway but the Empire’s occupation of the planet. No signs of the temple, including artwork and artifacts have been found. Curren-  _

Kylo stopped the audio and searched the landscape. He sensed guardians of the temple and of the Force. Though he couldn’t see who or what they were, he knew they were watching. He exhaled slowly, looking around but seeing nothing. He heard a long, sad howl in the distance. The sun was setting further now.

Something approached, hidden in the grass. Though he couldn’t hear it, he could easily see the tiny predator as it curiously crept up.

It was a loth cat. As a child he would play with them while his parents would visit friends on this planet. He would spend hours in the grass with them, scratching their stomachs and having them guide him through the fields, exploring. He loved their large ears, and they came in all colors, some of their furs were a soft orange with spots, others more white, and some a beautiful beige, allowing them to perfectly blend into the grassy plains. 

This one was different. He was all black, with dark green eyes.

He peered up at Kylo, and due to his tiny size, Kylo could tell it was young, a kitten. It mewled at him.

_ We’re the same. All dark. _

Kylo smiled as he looked down and agreed. The kitten padded itself to the top of his foot and looked up, asking for food. He reached in his pocket and popped out a snack that he was saving for the ride home. He crushed it in its packaging and dropped the contents in between his feet. The loth cat quickly finished the meat ration in swooping bites. Kylo patted his head affectionately as he walked away, surveying the area, looking for clues or evidence of the portal, where the temple used to be. He saw random pieces of garbage from the Empire but nothing more. He sighed, not finding anything to help him. He looked down and saw the kitten trotting up to him, its tongue wagging over its sharp tiny teeth, joyfully grinning. He waved to it to go home and turned around.

“Fancy running into you.” Han sported his signature half smile.

Seeing his father the first time was hard, but for some reason, the second time seemed harder. He had prepped himself strategically, making a short list of questions to ask Han to get as much critical information from him as possible, assuming he would see him again. He didn’t consider the emotional toll. He struggled to reply.

“Will you, for once, stop overthinking things?” Han shook his head. “Enjoy the time you have with me. I don’t know how many sessions we get. This could be the last one.”

Ben stuffed his feelings in a box.

“How are you?” 

“I’ve been worse.” 

Ben noticed he was still wearing the same clothes. 

“I want to know where you came from, and who sent you. Why are you appearing, and how?” 

Han shook his head. “Can’t do that. That’s not my job.”

“What is your job? Make me think I’m losing my mind?”

“No. I just want to talk.”

“Why? I killed you. I don’t know how you’re here, but I killed you.”

Han shrugged. “I’ve told you a million times, let the past die. You took it a little too far, but let's just talk. I just want to chat with my son.” 

Kylo froze when he said the last word. 

Han noticed.

“Look, I just—I just want to talk to you. I never did enough of that, and I don’t know how many more times I’ll get to see you. I can’t become a Force ghost and pop in at an awkward time spouting Force shit to make your life better.”

Ben groaned, tipping his head up to the sky in frustration. “Fine. Ask me any question, I'll answer.”

“Ok, question, question…..” Han rubbed a stubbled cheek thoughtfully, and then smiled. “What's going on with you and Rey? I thought that Finn guy had a crush on her, but she wasn’t having it last I checked, but now you two are—wait are you a thing yet?” 

Ben lowered his head and looked at his father with a raised eyebrow.  _ How does he know about my feelings for Rey? _

“No. We’re just….friends….somewhat. The Force, it brings us together—a Force bond. We connect, even when we're millions of light years apart, but we’re in each other's presence, as if we’re standing in the same room. We have our ups and downs, but just friends. She’s in a relationship with Dameron _. _ ” 

“The dumbass pilot? That's not gonna work out. You need to break them up. You know how to do that, right?”

Kylo cocked his head slightly and folded his arms. “She’s not interested. She’s already rejected me.”

“How?”

“Snoke wanted to kill her, but I killed him instead; I then asked her to rule the galaxy by my side. She declined.”

Han stared at him. 

“Haven’t had a lot of girlfriends, huh?” 

Kylo’s eyes narrowed.

“I'll take that as a yes.”

“My parents shipped me off to become a monk,” Kylo retorted. “I wanted to be a pilot, but you two thought it would be better if I studied with my uncle.”

Han looked at him, annoyed. “I didn’t want you to go. Your mother and I argued about it. I told her you needed to stay with us, that I needed to keep an eye on you, but your mom and Luke felt it would be best if you were trained as a Jedi, and then you said you wanted to go too. I thought you wanted it.”

Kylo snorted. “I heard you and Leia talking about me; I heard everything you said. You told her you were afraid of me.”

Han’s face softened. “I never said that. I was never afraid of you. I was afraid  _ for _ you. If I feared you, then why am I here?”

Ben huffed. “I know what I heard.” 

“You heard wrong. Use the Force, get in here and find the memory.” Han pointed to his head as he looked directly at his son. “Shouldn’t be too hard. But I'm warning you—don’t look around too much, you might find stuff you can’t unsee if you know what I mean.”

Wanting to prove his point, he plucked the memory from his mind. 

It was an odd experience, looking at Leia through Han’s eyes. 

_ “I don’t want to send him away. I love Luke, but I see how the kid looks at girls. I'm pretty sure he’ll take after his old man.”  _

_ Leia rolled her eyes.  _

_ “He’s a much better pilot at his age than I ever was. Hell, he’s been flying the Falcon before he could walk properly. Maybe part time? Like a camp or when we want to take off for a couple of weeks? He’s my boy; I want him near me. His nightmares—I can’t imagine not being there when he has them.” _

_ “Luke says that he has to fully commit. He can’t have him come and go and get special treatment while the other students live at the temple, fully immersed in the program. . He wants Ben to be his first pupil as he believes he's stronger than him which makes him even more susceptible. My father joined too late of an age, and the galaxy paid for it. I’m just afraid, Han. Afraid he will pick the wrong side.” _

_ Ben realized, this is when he started listening to the conversation. _

_ “That fear, it's what makes a person dark. Your brother’s told me this day in and day out. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate and blah blah blah.” Han waved his hand, and took a swig of beer. He lowered his voice to a near whisper and leaned forward to his wife. “I’m afraid too.” _

_ This is when a very young Ben walked away, crying. _

_ “I’m afraid they'll come after him, and I won’t be there to protect him. The kid needs his dad, trust me, I know. You and Luke had father figures; I didn't. He needs me, more than anyone. I'm not sending him away.” _

_ “My brother will protect him, better than either one of us is able to. He understands him more than you or I ever could. The New Republic still isn’t stable, I want him to have a galaxy he can live in.” _

_ “It's been about a decade, Leia. These idiots are never going to get their shit together, and you know it. The galaxy needs us, but our son needs us, too. Quit. I’ll quit, too. We can both stay home and just be a family. We have enough credits to enjoy our lives, just finish your term and tell them you need time off. When he’s old enough to explore the galaxy on his own you get back in. I’ll stay grounded, Chewy won’t mind. I can show the boy how to become a pilot; you can be here and support him as much as you can with the Force stuff. If we need Luke, we can just ask. He needs us. I’ll do anything to keep him safe.” _

_ Leia nodded softly. “Okay. I’ll send a message out tomorrow announcing that I won’t be running at the end of my term. We can take it day by day, together.” _

Kylo dropped his hand, tears in his eyes, gasping for air. He knew what happened the very next morning. He told his parents at breakfast that he wanted to join his uncle and become a Jedi. His parents were stunned, and his father asked him three times:  _ Are you sure about that? _ He wasn’t, but he didn’t want to be with people who were afraid of him, everyone was afraid of him, except his uncle Luke.

“I have never been afraid of you. I never will be. You’re my son. You’ve killed me once, and yet I’m standing right next to you.”

“For someone who can’t read minds, you always seem to know what's going on in mine.”

“One day, you’ll have kids of your own and won’t need the Force to figure out what they’re thinking. You’ll see.” 

Kylo snorted at the idea of him not only having kids but a family. He knew what he deserved, and it wasn’t happiness.

“Listen, keep chipping away at Rey. She’ll come around; she needs time.”

“Doubtful.”

“Want some advice? Never mention the boyfriend. Ever. Makes them feel guilty, makes you look guilty. Be yourself and let her come to her senses on her own. You’ve got the Force and the bonding thing, use it. Be nice but not too nice; there’s a fine line, figure it out. Usually they love being teased—but don’t be mean. If you have the opportunity, make her jealous. She’s the possessive kind of girl.”

“How do you even know that?”

Han gave him a wicked grin. “Trust me, kid—they all are.”

Kylo sensed the loth kitten as it pounced, digging its claws into his cape, joyfully hanging on, swaying back and forth. He looked down and gave the kitten a tiny growl. He hopped off, but still playfully pawed at it.

“Any other advice?” Kylo replied as he looked up. Han disappeared, but nothing was missing this time. 

The sun fully set, and the cold wind was picking up. He turned and lowered himself on one knee to pet his friend between its massive upright ears. Through the Force, he sent him home, back to his family.

_ They left me.  _ Kylo asked why.  _ I'm too dark, can’t hunt. No matter how quiet I am, they always see me.  _

The loth kitten fell backwards on his boot, revealing its all black stomach, wanting to be petted some more. As he rubbed its stomach, Kylo knew if he left this cat here, it would die. Impulsively, he opened his hand and asked if he wanted to join him. Without hesitation, the little feline jumped up, fitting on the length of his arm and perking his large ears as Kylo stood up and headed toward his ship. 

He needed a name for his friend.

++++

**Moraband**

The two hooded figures walked through the Valley of the Dark Lords, talking openly.

“What are the updates? Do we have a spy in the Supreme Council or within his circle?” Valin asked Suror, her orange Sith eyes glowing with the sun.

“Not quite... We were able to get some intel from Armitage, but he trusts us just as much as we trust him. He believes he should be the Supreme Leader which could lead to issues in the future. We are working on the rest of the council, but with the First Order’s influence growing quickly under Ren’s rule, it will be a challenge. They seem to appreciate his version of order in the galaxy. The most discouraging news, the usurper’s knights are indeed loyal.”

“Eliminate Armitage. Find someone else who speaks to him often, knows where he's going, and who he is talking to. Ren is getting closer, we need a direct line of contact.”

“Why would you believe that? The documents he’s referencing are dead ends; they're the same Jedi and Sith texts we used when developing the World Between Worlds program with Darth Sidious during his reign. The gates are gone, the last one impossible to find. This is a dead end. We should consider abandoning this project and finding a different way to deal with the usurper—these gates are not the answer.” 

Valin stopped and faced Suror, her temper rising. “The ancient Sith as well as the Jedi texts document seven portals, three Jedi temples, and three Sith Temples. Bridger dismantled them, leaving the main gate—the most powerful one.”

“We’ve been searching for answers for decades, Valin. Bridger was the key. He knew every entrance. Had you not killed him and his family we pro—” 

“I'm so tired of hearing you complain about me killing off a Jedi, a Mandalorian, and their child. He was unwilling to provide any information on the final gate, and that is assuming he knew its location—which I doubt. My vision is clearer than it has ever been with Kylo Ren finding the portal. When he locates the doorway to the World Between Worlds, we will be able to bring back all of our fallen brothers and sisters and finish what we started decades ago.”

“Valin, I have heard your speech hundreds of times. You speak of bringing back Revan, Sidious, Maul, and Bane, but without a map to the gate, it's just a vision. It could take Ren years, decades, even to find it, and that's if he ever does. Are you willing to wait that long?” 

“This isn’t just a typical Force user, Suror. Kylo Ren is not only well versed on the light side but the dark as well. Snoke was too arrogant, even untrained Kylo is more powerful than he ever was or could be. He was supposed to use him but instead got himself killed by allowing a Jedi trained by Skywalker in his presence. Ren either let her kill him, or better yet, did it himself, completing the Sith training of killing his master. After Snoke’s death, my vision became clear as day—we and Kylo Ren are on the right path. ”

Suror sighed and rolled his eyes, but Valin ignored him.

“My vision of the future is very close. It went from blurred bits and pieces to seeing the battle, seeing Kylo Ren die, the Resistance destroyed, and the Sith swarming out the gateway, bringing darkness back. The galaxy will truly miss the First Order once we take over. If they think this is darkness, they have another thing coming.”

“What about the Jedi? Won’t she have a say in this? There is no way she won’t try to stop this all from happening. Clearly he could not get her to turn to the dark side.”

Valin smiled, a grin that reached her eyes. “I keep telling you how what I see becomes clearer and clearer. Her death is coming, and once she’s gone, Ren will no longer focus on the Resistance and fully commit to finding the gate. We will be there, waiting. This time, there will be no Jedi to protect the galaxy, and it will be ours to rule forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a solid idea for the loth kitten's name. Any guesses? Would love suggestions as well! 
> 
> The introduction of these new characters is something I hope you enjoy. Moraband is supposedly abandoned, but honestly if the Sith are going to have a not so secret chat, I think this planet is the place.
> 
> Beta'd by the oh so kind [TheAberrantWriterGirl.](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaberrantwritergirl/works)
> 
> [Loth Cat ](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/8/89/Loth-cat_SWRSotR.png/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/350?cb=20170323041929)   
>  [Lothal ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lothal)   
>  [Rebels ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Wars_Rebels)   
>  [Moraband ](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Moraband)   
>  [Valley of the Dark Lords](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Valley_of_the_Dark_Lords)   
> 


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